Monday, March 30, 2009

Another Post Without a Clever Title

I got to go to dinner with Kim on Friday! We went out for Mexican food and stayed out til 12:30 just visiting and laughing our butts off. So dang much fun!!!!!

Hoe. Lee. Crap.

There was a freakin' ton of people at my house this weekend. My 1,700 square foot house. But I loved every single minute of it. I absolutely LOVE having company. Tav's family is great and we had a really good time. We celebrated his dad's 60th birthday and his sister becoming a grandma. Ya, that's right. Tav's sister that's a year older than him is a grandma and Tavis just had his first child 10 months ago. He's a little slow.

Tavis has two sisters. The oldest and youngest in his family are girls. They love each other so much. I know that his ex-wife complained of being left out when Tami and Dawna were together. And while I know they love me, there's no bond that can penetrate that of sisters. I never feel jealous or left out because I know how much I love my sisters and how much I LOVE to be with them. I love to be with my sisters-in-law, too. For sure. But there's not anyone I'd rather be with than my sisters. (I have to include Niki in there, too.)And Tami and Dawna are always very nice to me and it was so fun having them stay here.

Dawna has 2 little boys (among 3 older kids). Fisher, almost 3. And Gunnar, 1. (Oh, by the way, she's due with a little girl in June.) He's from Jan. 3rd to May 23rd older than Harley. This. Kid. Is. An. Ox. He's always been bigger than Harley but now he's mobile. He runs everywhere. He's easily 10-12 lbs bigger than Harley but Harley is only about 2 inches shorter than him. Anyway, I got a text from Tavis on Thursday night while I was at work and just after Dawna and her kids had gotten there that said, "holy shit, we're so not ready to have a toddler boy." To which I replied, "are they wild?" He said back, "daaaaaaaaaaaamn busy." That pretty much sums it up.

They were so much fun though! Holy crap, they're CUTE!!! I was surprised at how much Harley looks like the 3 yr old considering he looks just like his dad. But there's no question these boys are related!

This is Harley and Fisher

This is Gunnar, Fisher (who we had to bribe with being able to hold the dog in order for him to smile for us) and Harley.

So I worked on Saturday night. I had to leave the festivities early. Like half an hour after they started. I thought it would be worth it, though, because it was Saturday. I'd make lots of tips, right? I had these people come in and first rack up a $58 ticket. Then demand that I give them a discount because they know the owner. So 20% later, their ticket is $43.80. The dude handed me $45 and called it good. That's right. One dollar and twenty cents. I got a huge lump in my throat when I saw that. I went out of my way to especially take care of them because they knew the owners and I got totally ripped off! For the whole night I only made forty freakin' dollars. Shoulda stayed home and hung with the fam.

I worked again last night and made $70! YAYAYAY! Gotta love the all you can eat riblets night. But a guy from corporate was coming in today so we had to clean our butts off and I didn't get home til almost 11:00! My back hurts from scrubbing the kitchen floor. Oh well. He was able to notice only that our BBQ sauce lids were uneven heights so it was totally worth it.

I work again tomorrow night and it's $1 draft night so I should do pretty good! I expect all my Mormon Mommy bloggers to get in there and support me on $1 draft night. Don't be rude.

So I've got posts that are more fun rolling around in my head. I just haven't had access to the computer for a while.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Sister is Coming to Town, Too

So Tav's entire family is in town this weekend. I have a funny post all ready to do but I don't know if I'll have time to get it done. I'm doing this from my phone late at night on Thursday. It should be a fun but stressful weekend!
Lemme just leave you with this thought...I'm seeing a Rib City gift card giveaway in our futures. And for those of you without a Rib City in your area...we'll work something out.
Have you read DeNae's latest post? You've got to read it. I was seriously laughing my butt off! I'd link her but, like I said, I'm doing this from my phone. So go to
Have a great weekend!

PS: I really just wanna have a sleep-over at my mom's with Kim the whole weekend. Poor, poor, pitiful me :(

Monday, March 23, 2009

It's The Post About Nothing

Hey y'all! I don't have anything to blog about. Had a great weekend. Spent it with Niki. Ate me some Cafe Rio. Pretty much done with the madness. I'm still taking the injections and not eating anywhere NEAR the portion sizes I was before, but I'm not doing the strict 500 calorie thing anymore. I'll do injections until Wednesday at which point I'll go back and get weighed and measured again. Lori over at Green Jello has been doing the same HCG diet and has had some very interesting results. If you're considering this diet (and I haven't completely scared you off by it) you should check out her Fat Loss Chronicles. HCG claims to burn all fat and not lean muscle. Lori's results have been somewhat contrary to that.

I've been in much better spirits since I started eating again. I got my Thin Mints. I got my chai from Starbucks. (I'm sooooo not a yuppy, Starbucks just really does have the best chai.) And sometime this week or next I'm going to go join (again) Weight Watchers. I don't wanna be banished to my house again this summer and if I'm chunky I know I won't want to leave. Why do we let our weight decide our level of happiness? That can't be healthy.

Harley is TEN months today. Holy crap! We finally got his crib set up today. He's been in the Pack 'n' Play this whole time. He's decided he's done with that whole "sleeping through the night" thing and I'm pretty sure it's because his bed sucks. We need to retrain him to put himself back to sleep because he's not hungry when he wakes up. He's still in our room because he and Hayden are both way light sleepers and I'm afraid they'll wake each other up.

So I work tonight! It's all you can eat riblets so I hope we get a lot of people and that they make for a great post! It's freakin' dang cold, though, so I'm not holding my breath. Stupid snow. It'll be warm by the weekend. Welcome to spring in Utah!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Exactly the Same, Only Different

I worked today but nothing real exciting happened. In fact, it was way slow. I only had four tables.

I've been doing some observing lately. I've decided that Harley and my Yorkie are pretty much the same.

Harley likes to play with anything marked "not a toy".
So does Fluffy.

Harley likes to eat anything labeled "not baby food".
Fluffy likes to eat anything labeled "not dog food."

Anything they find on the floor ends up in their mouth. Not that there's EVER anything on my floors. I'm just saying if they should happen to find something on the floor, it would end up in their mouth. If.

There are a few differences, though. Fluffy likes to lick my face with affection. Harley likes to grab my face and try to rip it off...with affection. Fluffy likes to lick Harley's face with affection. He likes to wing her around by her fur...with affection. I really don't like Fluffy that much. And Harley is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Where Are Your Manners?

First of all, the big news: The cookies from the temple thing are from Little Dutch Boy Bakeries in Draper. My mom works at the Church Office Building so she has all the really important information. Like, for example, they served a total of 750,000 cookies and 670,000 bottles of water. They brought the water in on 17 semi-truck loads. At first they ordered 72,000 cookies and found that they only lasted 2 days. Probably because freakin' hogs like me ate SIX!!!

OK, on with the post. I worked last night so guess what? Another fun-filled waitressing story!
This family comes in. A mom with her six kids (Utah, remember?), the youngest being Harley's age (ten months) and the oldest I'd say about 15. First thing, as they're walking to their table one of the younger boys (probably 8-ish) takes the peg out of the middle of one of the wagon wheels hanging on the wall and sticks it in his pocket. So I take their orders. Mom: special. Daughter: ribs. Younger daughter: grilled cheese sand (with the help of her older sister, who was really cute and sweet to her siblings. Really.). Kid who ripped off the peg: In the most annoying, obnoxious, dufuss voice he proceeds to tell his mom he'll order for himself. He then orders chicken nuggets with fries. I tell him he can also have corn on the cob or applesauce. Silence. More silence.
"Buddy? Do you want applesauce or corn?"
FINALLY: corn. (In his same ridiculous voice)
OK, moving on. Next kid: special. Next kid: sandwich.
So I move on to the next table and while I'm talking to them this woman is yelling for me. "Amber?! Amber?!" Dude, seriously? I'm helping someone else! So the manager takes care of her.
After a few minutes I go up to the mom and say kind of quietly, "Um, I don't want there to be weirdness but my manager said that your little guy in the corner there, took one of the pegs out of the wagon wheel and put it in his pocket." And then I walked away. I didn't want to be there for the interrogation. But I hear the kid denying it. When I came back, she said she had frisked the kid and it was not on his person. He said that he took it out of one wheel and stuck it in the other wheel. I don't have any idea if there was one missing out of the other one or not. Even if I did, I'm not about to call him out on it. So I say, "ok, sounds good."
Well the special was an all you can eat situation. So the kid orders a "refill" on his and when I bring them to him he's still got his plate in front of him with his applesauce and corn on the cob sitting on it; both about half eaten. I say, "are you done with this plate or are you still working on those?" Silence. Then he, and I'm not making this up, proceeds to "draw" a circle shape with his two hands. Starting at the bottom of the circle and going up and meeting at the top with his fingers.
Me: Standing there with the plate of ribs.
Then he "draws" a square in the air with his hands.
Me: Standing there with the plate of ribs. Then I look at the mom with a "wtf?" kind of look on my face.
Mom: Finally comes out of her coma, says, "Say something."
Kid: "Yes."
Really? "YES WHAT???? You're done with your plate or you're still working on it?"
Kid: "Done with it."
See, I have kids. They don't scare me. I don't play into their games. Nor was I about to let his mom think I thought he was cute or clever. So I go to take his first plate away and he grabs the corn off of it.
Well, after a while the younger kids start to get restless and the older two kids have to take them out (not a minute too soon). So the mom asks for her check so they can leave. YOU. BET.
She gave me a $12 tip! But I tell you what, with the mess I had to clean up when they left, I earned every single cent of it!
Seriously, if my kids behaved like that, they would never see the inside of a restaurant again. Ever.
So then at like, 8:40 (we close at 9) these two women come in. Very pretty. Nicely dressed. Friendly. Craving corn on the cob. They order the all you can eat special, too. After they've had their food for a few minutes, they ask what time we close. And I kept checking to see if they wanted a "refill" on their ribs, yet. "No, no." They tell me. The cooks are wanting to shut the kitchen down. It's pretty much closing time. Then at 9:05 they order their refill. Are you kidding me? The grill was already shut down so the cooks had to turn it back up. Then they proceeded to stay til freaking 9:30!!! I had joked with them when they asked what time we close that if they stayed too long , I'd just have them vacuum.
So when they continue to not leave I started to vacuum. Maybe it's just me but when the freakin' vacuum comes out that's usually my cue to RUN ALONG! Nope, not these women.
Finally they left. And they left their damn $2 tip, too. Isn't that just rude? To stay on and on? Clearly, we're closed. We're wanting to go home. I just think it's really bad manners.
All in all, it was a pretty good night, though. I made $55! And I still LOVE waiting tables!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Know, I Know. Bump the Needle, Already

OK, I realize this blog has pretty much turned into the "I'm so freakin' hungry"chronicles. So, instead of apologize for it, I'll continue the trend. You're welcome. Don't worry. We've only got 10 more days of this.
I've been such a loser this weekend. And I don't mean in the pounds and inches department. I mean in the department of I went to the open house for the Draper temple yesterday with Tavis and Niki and her husband. After you walk through the temple they lead you to a church with the best assortment of the BEST cookies I've ever had. I knew yesterday was going to be a bit of a cheat day for me as we've had this planned for a long time and I didn't want to be a party pooper. But instead of eating just one delicious chocolate cookie, I ate three. And instead of eating just one delicious oatmeal/hardly-any-raisins cookie, I ate 3. Did you do the math? That's 6 cookies!!! And to be honest, my stomach felt queasy after. I haven't had that much sugar in two weeks and it hit me hard. (But, um...I'm wondering. Does anyone know what kind of cookies those were and where they got them? Come on, people. I know someone knows.)
So after that we went to Rib City for dinner. Not the one I work at but the one in Sandy. (It's nice to go where the don't all know me because I actually get to enjoy my meal and visit with the people I came with rather than the people I work with that insist on hanging around my table and talk to me. (Whew! Run-on sentence, much?)) So I ordered my ribs and my baked potato and fries and spicy ranch and we had chicken tenders for appetizers and, oh my gosh, they were SO GOOD! I actually only ate all the carbs on my plate. I didn't touch my ribs or the pork that came with it. But the fries, potato, garlic toast? Gone. I've clearly been in carb withdrawals.
Then today for lunch I ate my ribs and pork.
But now I'm back on track. F'rills. Even those Thin Mints are calling my name so loud I can barely hear Harley's "Baby Einsteins" DVD, I'm not going to answer their siren call. They really are going to be my reward when this madness is over.
In case you're wondering if anything else besides this diet is going on in my There's nothing else.
Now stop judging me.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Um Ya, Pretty Sure I'm Tiny

OK, so I just got home from weighing in and getting measured. Turns out this Hungry Cravings Grumble diet really is working. I've lost FOURTEEN POUNDS!!!!! I know what you're thinking: "Of course you've lost weight. You've been starving yourself." Well I'd believe you except they did my measurements and ya, I'm tiny!

I've lost 1.5" off my upper arm.
2" off my chest (upper back fat)
1.5" off my waist (just under my bra line)
2" off my other waist (belly-button area/lower back fat)
FOUR INCHES off my thighs

So that tells me I've lost fat. And not just because I'm so freaking hungry all the time. I was going to ask why I was so hungry still but I forgot to. I'm really excited now. It's just nice to get some validation for all the crap I've had to go through to achieve this so called "lifestyle change". I have 12 more days of torture and if I lose a pound a day that'll be 26 pounds and that'll be fan-freakin'-tastic!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Why, Yes. I am Hungry. Why do you ask?

So YAY! Harley is feeling better! He hasn't had a fever since Tuesday morning. His nose is running now, instead of being completely stuffed up. Did you know they don't make infant's cold medicine anymore? Ya, they don't. Oh well. I'm just glad he's feeling better.

So, the diet. I was emailing with DeNae today about how fan-freaking-tastic she is and she had asked me if I was skinny yet...or dead. The answer to both is a resounding HELL NO!!! Although I'm actually closer to the latter. So here's what I told her. (Sorry, DeNae. This'll be a repeat for you.)
I guess when I finish these injections and the 500 calories a day they'll teach me how to reintroduce carbs and starches back into my diet. I'm mostly just looking forward to reintroducing myself to diet Pepsi and Butterfinger Eggs. I really think I'm going to chub up the minute I start eating again. The point of these 23 days is to make a "lifestyle change". But seriously, who does that? All it's made me do is compile a list of things I'll be eating as soon as this madness...I mean lifestyle change is over. So, for your reading enjoyment, here's my list of things I can't WAIT to eat:

  • Cafe Rio pork salad and/or burrito.
  • Oriental chicken salad from Applebee's.
  • Pretty much everything on the Rib City menu but more specifically: baby back ribs (FULL rack), garlic toast, french fries and a gallon of spicy ranch.
  • That new "roast burger" Arby's has been bragging about lately.
  • Milk.
  • Cereal, but more specifically: Crunch Berries, Cracklin' Oat Bran, Frosted Flakes.
  • PB & J sandwich.
  • Raspberry-filled powdered donuts.
  • Of course, diet Pepsi and Butterfinger Eggs that only come out at Easter.
  • The 6 boxes of Girl Scout cookies sitting on my fridge, unopened because I won't let my family have any until I can have some. (Does anyone know where I can get more? Seriously. I want to freeze some Thin Mints.)

So I guess that's about it. With that list it's really hard for me to understand how I got chunky in the first place. Actually, the truth is that I'm going to do better. I've decided to give myself one cheat day a week. That one day will see me through the other six days. I'll watch my carbs and sugar intake. I'm going to join Weight Watchers. I swear by WW. I've done it before and I know it works. I just wanted to do this HCG thing to jump-start the weight loss. I have zero will power and if I start a diet and don't see results right away, I get discouraged and quit. But I've worked too hard and suffered too much and paid too much freakin' money to flush my efforts. Plus, Niki and I are going to do a bunch of 5k walks (no, Melissa and Sher, we're NOT running). I'm mostly looking forward to the girl talk we'll do on these walks.

One last thing...I'm so loving being back to work. I love, LOVE, love waiting tables. I don't even mind cleaning up after people...very much. I love meeting new people. Of course, I love to make new friends but at work it's more just surfacy stuff. I meet them, we chat, I make 'em laugh (I try), they eat delicious food, they pay me, and then they leave. And then I get on my hands and knees and clean up their mess. I made $80 tonight! On a THURSDAY!!! In UTAH COUNTY!!! Yay me!

So have a great weekend! If you live in Utah county or plan on visiting the area, stop by Rib City Grill and see me! (I won't be there this weekend, though.)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Boo Hoo and Woo Hoo!

My baby is very sick right now :( He's been battling double ear infections for the last week. The last three days he's had a fever; reaching 104 at one point. I took him back to the doctor yesterday and she thinks he's still just trying to combat the ear infections but that his ears look a lot better.
Needless to say, Tavis & I haven't slept much the past few nights. Mostly because Harley doesn't want to be laid down. Unfortunately, when we hold him it just makes him warmer.
Why am I cheering you up with all this, you ask? So you'll know why I'll be scarce the next few days while I tend to Harley and sleep when he sleeps.
On the bright side, I've lost 3 more pounds! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! And I've made some decent money my last 2 shifts and I had a good time doing it! I really LOVE waiting tables. I love to interact with new people. I like to make new friends, of course, but when I'm at work I get to deal with people on a more surfacy level and that's fun too!
I'll still be reading all of you and commenting when I can :)

Friday, March 6, 2009


Look who's back on the computer! Yeeee-Haaaaw!!! I guess it's only temporarily fixed so I gotta hurry.
One more thing I wanted to tell that couple last night was: thanks for telling me I looked tired. That was EXACTLY the look I was going for!
So here's the first update:
I mentioned that I'd lost 3 1/2 pounds, right? Well when I woke up this morning one of them was back!!! I was extremely discouraged. I was ready to just bag it. (I'm just brimming with willpower, I tell ya!) I was this (holds thumb and pointer finger half inch apart) close to eating a bowl of Crunch Berries for breakfast. But I resisted. I went to lunch at Applebee's with my friend Amanda and I ate off the Weight Watcher's menu. I probably ate more than I should have but I didn't get full so I knew I was doing something right. So all day I've been in a bad mood. Blaming the one pound weight gain and the lack of sugar. Just been grumpy. So tonight, I weighed myself again. Ya, that's right. AT NIGHT. That pound I gained? GONE!!!!! Yippeeeee! I'm so glad I didn't eat that ice cream like I soooooo wanted to.
My head still hurst most of the time but I hear it gets better. I just want to eat. I haven't felt full since Monday. Anyone who's considering this diet should be warned: it sucks. And as my sister, DeNae, said: "[I] better be pencil thin by the end of this or someone's gettin' eaten."
(To follow a fellow HCGer go here. You can even enter to win a pedometer.)
Here's the second update:
Harley had his 9 month appointment this week and here are his stats:
Height: 29.5"------->75-90%
Weight: 18 lbs 2 oz.---------> 50%
Head: 47 cm (Helloooo! We're in America. Give me this one in inches please!)
He's still a little behind as far as motor skills but I'd say no more than a month. He commando crawls everywhere but doesn't go from crawling to sitting up by himself. He doesn't pull himself up to furniture, yet either. Those are the only things he's behind in. I'm pretty sure he's perfect.
He's got 5 teeth. He waves bye bye now and then. And when I tell him to wave he also says ba ba ba. I'm certain he's saying it. He's freakin' brilliant! He shakes his head and it's so dang funny...unless I'm trying to feed him. Then it's not so funny.
So there's the updates. I gotta stop posting and get reading and commenting while I've got the blessed computer!

PS: No spelling errors! (Except the ones I did on purpose)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Name's Amber. I'll Be Cleaning Up After You Tonight

Dear couple with the really cute little boy who was seated at my table tonight,

Apparently, the new manager wasn't aware of the "Amber doesn't do tables with kids" rule. So unfortunately (for me) you were seated in my section. Perhaps this was your first experience in an eating establishment that didn't start with "Mc". Or perhaps you are just extremely lame. Either way, allow me to thank you for letting your child throw his french fries and napkin and straw and chewed up chicken and wet nap and crayons all over the floor. Without your complete lack of give-a-damn-ness I, your waitress, would not have had the opportunity to get on all fours and do something I don't even do in my own home. Thank you for giving me such a humbling experience. And thank you for your $3.18 tip. It was so worth it to hold your child's ABC chicken in my hand.
And to the party of six who took home the copy of your credit card receipt that you sign and LEAVE MY TIP ON and left me YOUR copy, the blank one, the one that you neither signed nor left my tip on: you guys suck.
All my love,
(Tonight was my first night back to work waiting tables. Can you tell? Other than those 2 tables it was a pretty good night. Made $40 in 3.5 hrs so that's not bad. And speakin of 3.5...I've lost 3.5 pounds on my starvation diet! YAY!!!)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Don't Tell Me I'm Going to Actually Go to Bed at a Decent TIme

Well the unthinkable has happened. Our (Tav's) computer has bitten the proverbial dust. So I won't be posting very much since doing it on my phone (like now) is pretty much a pain in my butt.
So don't think that I've starved to death because I've started the 500 calories a day part of the HCG diet. Although I am pretty much STARVING! I hear it takes a few days before you stop being hungry all the time. I did the 3 days of binging and they were pretty disappointing. I wasn't hungry! What a rip off! Last night after I had 2 cinnamon rolls for dinner I said to Tavis that I was sure I was going to wake up in the morning positively famished. YEP! And I was supposed to gain3-5 lbs during those "feed your face" days and I LOST a pound and a half. Which is fine but they say the more you eat during those 3 days, the more success you'll have. So it makes me wonder if I should have had 3 cinnamon rolls for dinner.
Anyway, I'm in this til the end. I can do anything for 3 weeks, right? Right?? My head hurts. I need a pepsi.
Did anyone watch The Bachelor last night? Gimme a freakin' break! He's such a dog! And it's not over yet. There's another "After the Final Rose" show on tonight.
OK, this phone thing is driving me nuts. I'll still be checking in on all of you. It's kind of a pain to comment with the phone so comments may be sparse but know that I'm still here lurking.
PS I can't do the spell check on here so please fogive me!

Sunday, March 1, 2009


So the other day (Friday) I went to the elementary school for Hayden's program. (It was so dang cute, btw!) Not long after it started they came on the PA saying not to let the kids out for recess. Then a few minutes after that they said we were in lock-down mode by order of the P.G. police department. So these poor kids are up there trying to do their skit about Jim Bridger and they keep getting interrupted by the intercom. Eventually, the principal came on stage and told us there had been a shooting a few blocks from the school and we'd be in lock-down until further notice. But on with the show! DUH! I realize we need to know these things but since none of us were going anywhere I just thought they could have let us know after the show. As not to cause a panic among the 100+ ten year old kids on the stage.
By the time the show was over it was still 30 minutes from the time school was to get out so if we wanted our other kids we'd have to stand in line and sign them out. Then go to their class and get 'em.
I'm just glad I was there. The phone number the school has for me is my home phone which I never answer. I'd have been waiting for them to get home since they weren't going to be letting them on the bus, either. (They did eventually lift the lock-down and the kids could have gotten on the bus but not for a while after school was let out.)
The shooter was caught. Apparently it was all over an argument. It's so stupid that so many people's lives are turned upside down and backwards because of a disagreement. What ever happened to "live and let live"? That dude's gonna spend the rest of his life in prison, now. So stupid.
So, the other carayzeee thing that happened was while I was in line waiting to sign Avery out of class. I see this woman that looked so familiar! Being the shy and bashful person I am, I walked right up to her and asked, "did I just meet you somewhere?" She said, "no (crazy person, run along) I don't think so." I said, "maybe at the..." Then I didn't finish because I didn't want her looking at me like everyone else has this week when I told them I went to a lunch full of Kristina P. worshipers...I mean bloggers.
So this gal says, "at the blog lunch?"
Me: "YES!" I was so relieved she was just as freaky as I am! How crazy is that? It was Shanna at Just So. I've seen her comments on several blogs I read, too. Isn't that weird? There's a bazillion blogs out there and we seem to kind of end up in the same circles as so many other people. Anyway, I was so excited to meet her. I pretty much have zero friends here (I know. It's sad.) so it'd be fun to get to know her better. She sent me an awesome shout out on her post about the lock-down, too, so I just wanted to thank her and tell her to feel free to stalk me in blog land as well as reality land. Although five minutes into it she'll be so bored she'll want to hang herself just for something to do.
Hey, PS...I see all these posts with words crossed out. I swear I've seen the button for it or something called "strike through" but now I can't find it. Can someone out there tell me how to do this??? And how do I reply to your comments through your email? HELP!!!