Thursday, February 26, 2009
So anyway, I have nothing of real importance to blog about today. I just wanted to post something as to avoid leaving another "Hayden" post up for a week.
I've been so freakin' bored this week. I am proof that one cannot die of boredom. I know this because I still have a pulse.
Tavis brought home the buggy yesterday. It's so dang cute! I took some pix of the kids in it and I'll get 'em posted. It's bright red, just for me. I can't wait til spring really gets here (for that entire 2 days before it turns to full-fledged summer which is how we roll here in Utah) so we can take it out. It's street legal so I can take the kids to school in it and they'll be so cute and everyone will look at them with "oh man, I wish I had one of those" looks. Not that I like to be the center of attention...I'm just sayin'.
I've been mentally preparing to start my HCG diet. Tomorrow I start the binge process. I've been practicing that part all week, though. I'm not good when it comes to no carbs and thinking about what I'm going to eat. I'm hoping these next 3 weeks will show me that I really can live without Crunch Berries every single night. I've tried to go an entire day without carbs or at least very few and I didn't make it past the two eggs I had for breakfast. And 500 calories a day? Please! I burn through that many calories in a single bowl of Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. But, I've paid the money and gotten in a fight with Tavis over it so I'd better do my very best to make it all worth while. I'm really tired of never wanting to go outside because I HATE the way I look. I saw all the pix of the lunch on Saturday (thanks TWSS!!) and I hardly recognized myself. In my mind I'm still thin and have a thin face. (kinda like the reverse of anorexic girls, right?) Then I see pictures and YIKES!!! So I'm actually really excited to get this done. To see just what I can accomplish. And when I've got a smokin' hot body again, let's just see if Tav's complaining then!
OH! Great news! My former boss at the restaurant where I used to work said I could come back to work next week! I'm really excited! (Notice all the "!") It's probably only going to be an extra $100 a week but getting out of the house and bringing home yummy food and having some spending money that's not coming out of the house-hold account is going to be great! YIPPPEEEEE!!!! Plus, I really loved waiting tables. I love to meet people that are out doing my same exact favorite past time...eating out. People are usually in a good mood when they're out to dinner so you rarely get grumpy, grumps. I do wish, though, that when people came to dinner with their little ones they would just automatically double their tip since their waitress is going to be on all fours picking up french fries and crayons (and other squishy things) when they leave.
Well, this has turned into a pretty freakin' random post. And it's not even Tuesday! It is, however, "Earl, Kath & Kim, The Office and Grey's Anatomy" day so yee-haw!!!
And the sun is out and it's supposed to be in the 50's today! (Zip it, DeNae!)
K, well, have a great Thursday! I love Thursday. It such a nice day to have right before the weekend. It's got a good "feel" to it.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Hayden and Kanny
Friday, February 20, 2009
Don't You Hate it When...
- ...your baby has been napping for a good hour or two and you start to feel a little drowsy yourself so you close your eyes. And the second you do, your baby's eyes fly open?
- ...you let your dog out to potty because she refuses to use the freaking doggy door...
- ...and then you forget about her and you get all snuggled back in your blanket on the couch only to hear her yap at the door?
- ...every time you read your sister's blog you laugh your butt off so you say in the comments that this one was the funniest one ever and then...she writes another hilarious post and you want to say the same thing but you feel stupid because you're sure she's going to think, "OK, Amber, I get it. You think I'm funny. Come up with a new comment."?
- ...you're so short that you try to get into the back of a full-size Ford Bronco but you slip and fall face first into the back on the floor...
- ...and your sister-in-law, instead of helping you, stands in the driveway and pees herself laughing? (OK, actually this one would have to go on my brother's ex-wife's list. As I would be the driveway-standing, pant-peeing, sister-in-law.)
- ...when you're six months pregnant you go shopping with two of your sisters and one of them trips over the curb and lets out the most hilarious scream and it cracks you up so bad...
- ...and there's a fountain right next to you...
- ...and despite your very best scissor-stance, you proceed to pee yourself in front of everyone in the Tai Pan parking lot...
- ...and when you finally get in control of yourself, which is EXTREMELY hard because your sister (the tripper) is now laughing so hard that SHE'S about to pee herself, which cracks you up even more, you go inside to finish emptying your bladder (all three drops that weren't in your undies) and the restroom is in the back of the store...
- ...and your sister (tripper) is following you because she needs to go now, too, but she can't stop laughing and you're trying not to sound bitchy when you say, "dude, for real. You have to stop laughing and you have to stop following me because I'm seriously going to pee the rest of myself"...
- ...and then these two sisters refuse to go back to the place you're staying so you can get change your pants...
- ...so you're forced to walk around Tai Pan in your dirty pee pants, all while getting more and more chaffed?
- ...you stand up and your niece says, "Aunt Amber, you've got a big butt."...
- ...and your sister says, "LONDON!!!!! You can't say that to people!"...
- ...and your niece (who was, like, 4 at the time) says, "what? I love her big butt. I...I love her butt!"
- ...your husband single-handedly keep McDonald's in business and then gives you crap for spending $4 on a chai tea at Starbucks?
- ...you sign up for the HCG diet and when they tell you that you have to binge for three days before you start the injections and the 500 calorie a day diet you practically giggle out loud because you're so excited to just eat and eat and eat? (Which is pretty much why you're in the predicament in the first place.)
- ...you're watching The Biggest Loser and the gal goes up there to weigh in and you think to yourself, "how is it possible that this person has been at the ranch for so long and has lost so much weight and is still HUGE??? And then she gets on the scale and she weighs less than you? And now you're thinking, "she better be four feet tall."
- ...you spend weeks mocking the Snuggie and now you want one...
- ...and your husband says under no uncertain terms will anyone in this house EVER have a Snuggie because they're the most ridiculous things ever (which they are)?
- ...you've always known your baby is especially brilliant but the fact that he's learned to throw his head back and bat his spoon and shake his head when he's done eating kind of makes you wish he wasn't so dang smart? (Is it me or is 9 mos a little young for him to be pulling such stunts?)
- ...you want to record too many shows on your DVR and it tells you that you can't record that many shows as if it's saying to you, "dude, there's NO WAY anyone could watch that much TV in a day"?
- ...no one but you knows how to operate the HOV lane?
- ...people speak to their children for the "entertainment" of the grown-ups around them?
So ya, I could go on for days. Make sure you go read the other two posts I mentioned. I literally laughed my butt OFF when I read my sister's. (It grew right back.)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I'm posting this from my phone so I'm not able to link it. Sorry, you're going to have to actually copy & paste.
This gal has a lot of good tips on getting organized. I definitely need her help!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
There was a huge woman (I don't usually judge people for being fat, because I am a FAR CRY from skinny. Besides, it rarely has anything to do with whether or not they're a good person. In fact, I'm not judging this woman for being fat. But the fact that she was overweight just drew more attention to herself.) yelling at her kids. She was so freaking loud! It was never a "come here, honey" or "don't touch, sweetie". It was "GET OVER HERE!" And, "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!". I'm a pretty mellow, laid back person. I mostly just mind my own business. But this time I had to give her my best "crank my head around and glare" look. I'd be a huge liar if I told you I've never scolded my kids in the store. But I try to do it discreetly. I don't ever want people looking at me the way I was looking at this woman. Twice.
And have you ever noticed that you end up going in the same circles as other people? Like you run into them on every other aisle. So I got to see this charming gal every time I turned around.
So after I got done with the grocery part of my shopping I head over to the pharmacy to get some baby Tylenol. On my way I pass a woman who's talking to herself. Like full-on talking. Not just "ok, I can't forget the milk...". No, she's in a deep convo with herself. I couldn't believe my bad luck! First, a mean-talker in the grocery part and now a self-talker in the boys' clothing department. I headed over to the pharmacy fully expecting to find a leper colony! Actually, in that area it was just kinda depressing. Mostly old people shuffling along behind their carts.
The check-stand offered more entertainment, though. First, I got in line with the self-talker. (See what I mean about circles?) Then the cashier supervisor person is talking to my cashier about her (own) granddaughter. She got the part in an Aladdin play and needs a dress for a part...can't think of the name...starts with "p"...(other cashier calls out "pirate!" (Me, to myself: Really? Have you seen Aladdin?))...so I chime in, "peasant?"
Supervisor: "YES!!! Thank you! So I don't even know what a peasant would wear. What is a peasant?"
(Me, to myself: Really? And you work at Wal-Mart? Huh.)
Anyway, I explained to her that a peasant was poor and they wore kind of ruffly dresses (I guess), paid my freaking $123, and left.
Feeling much, much better about myself.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Did you just go to the bathroom?"
(Real quiet) "Yeah."
"What do you think I just sat in?"
(Real quiet) "Yeah, yeah."
(Not so quiet) "What. Did. I. Just. Sit. In?"
"Lift up the damn seat!!!!!"
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
- Today I was listening to the radio in my car and I was BELTING out a song that I LOVE. Then the next song came on and I had no idea what song had just been on. Why is that? It's not the first time it's happened.
- Kristina P. mentioned "Sapped" a while ago in one of her posts and it reminded me that I like that show so I tuned in and the girl that narrates has THE MOST monotone voice ever. I can't believe she got a job using only her voice.
- I get confused watching my son at basketball practice. He hustles the least, yet requires the most drink breaks.
- How can you tell when blue cheese dressing has gone bad? It pretty much tastes and smells sour all the time.
- Harley can patty-cake on command now. Ya, it's adorable.
- The cinnamon rolls at IKEA are pretty much the most delicious thing ever. Totally worth the walk through the Bermuda Triangle just to get them. And they're cheap! Six for $4!!!
- The "flip" on my cell phone is getting loose because I flip it open four million times a day to text.
- Valentine's Day is the worst holiday ever invented. All it does is put pressure on men to do something for their wives and it makes women feel bad because their men don't do enough. Seriously! We're all comparing our "what did your husband get you?" stories. I can't be bothered.
So there you have it! Go visit Keely for all the random fun!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
When Tavis and I were dating we went to his shop and I saw a cute little 50cc Honda motorcycle. I'd never driven a motorcycle before so I jumped on. He had a pretty big yard behind the shop where he kept all his equipment so I rode around back there. Weaving in and out of track-hoes. Dodging dozers. It was FUN! Yes, I was extremely big for this "bike". (It's best suited for say...a 5-10 year-old) And even though I crashed into the teeny, tiny garbage dumpster I had so much fun and I couldn't stop thinking about riding that thing. I dreamed about it. I just wanted to get back on it. Tav grew up riding motorcycles and loved them. So when I showed an interest in them he jumped. We went that very weekend and he bought me my very own. (I would receive criticism from my family that he had bought me a motorcycle instead of an engagement ring.)
The bike he bought me was a 125cc. It was too small for me in size. Also, Tav knew I would outgrow it skill-wise in just a matter of time and require a bigger "cc" bike soon. Well, that spring and summer I rode the hell out of that bike. It was so much fun! I was pretty impressed with myself. I could climb hills and grab gears while doing it. I could ride down steep hills (but only if Tavis was at the bottom telling me he knew I could do it). I rode so much better if he was behind me. He was my courage. He knew my skill level as well as the capabilities of my bike and if he told me I could do something, I knew I could. He'd never lead me astray.
Eventually, I got good enough to carry a passenger. I'd put Avery on in front of me and Tav would put Hayden in front of him. They. Loved. It. And again, I was pretty good!
Now, let me just say that I did fall a few (several) times. But I've only "wrecked" maybe, 3 or 4 times and even then I just got scraped up and bruised. (Which I actually loved because it gave me bragging rights at work.) All the other times I would just dump my bike. Like just tip over. Especially in the sand or really soft dirt. These dumps didn't hurt.
So in July after Tav and I got married we went to his family's reunion. (Avery was 5 and Hayden, 7) His whole family is into ATV riding. We took Hayden and Avery on a ride one day. Like usual, I had Avery with me and Tavis had Hayden with him. (I should note that they both loved to ride with Tav because he'd go fast and make small jumps. Mom was much more cautious.) We were cruisin' along when all of a sudden we hit some sand, right on a turn. Avery and I dumped it. As we fell I said, "oh shit."
To which Avery replied, "oh shit."
I said to her, "did you just say 'shit'?"
Avery: (Looking up at me with sheer horror on her face as she realized what she just said.) (Picture "Ralphie" from "A Christmas Story")
Me: "It's ok, baby girl. When you're falling off a motorcycle sometimes you gotta say, 'shit'."
Avery: (WHEW!!!!) "hahaha."
Tavis and Hayden: "A ha ha ha!!!"
So we pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off and I pick up my bike. Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with motorcycles, (yes, my family, I'm talking to you) but when your bike tips over gas spills out of the top of the gas cap. I know this is some kind of safety feature but I'm not sure why. Anyway, I get back on and get Avery back on with me and she looks down and sees the gas on the gas tank, right in front of her.
Avery: "Now what's all this hellin' gas doin' on here?"
Me: "BAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! OK, munchkin. First of all, clean up the talk. Second of all, if you're gonna cuss you need to have it make sense. It's what's all this damn (I wasn't going to go into the other swear word option) gas doing on here?"
That's the end of the flashback. I should wrap it up by saying that I did outgrow that bike. In every way possible. Tav got me an enduro (off road as well as street legal) that is 200cc. I loved riding it around town. But on one trip to the canyon I got spooked because I almost got hit by a van on a dirt road. So the next time we went riding I was nervous which makes for squirly riding. Avery and I were on my bike again and we dumped it. This time, however, we were on a steep hill with jagged rocks and we got pretty banged up. I rode back to camp and have never taken my bike off road again. Of course, I was pregnant during part of that time and then had a newborn last summer so I really couldn't go anyway. I've lost my nerve, though. Tav's building us a dune buggy that will be done this spring. I'll drive that around with Harley and Avery. Tavis, Hayden and Dalton will ride their bikes. (Hayden rides the 50cc I spoke of four days ago at the beginning of this post) I seriously can't wait til summer!!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
As we head down the hill I don't notice the lack of traffic. At the bottom of the hill, where the school is, I do notice the lack of flashing yellow lights by the cross-walk. Which was also missing something...a crossing guard. There were no kids walking down the street. No kids on the playground. No buses. No notice on the marquee saying anything about school being out. No one answering the phone in the office when I call to see what the heck is up. I drive to the other elementary school down the road from ours and see their marquee..."no school Feb. 2nd". Huh.
No kids. No bus. No cars. No school? Yep.
Turns out it's the end of the term and the teachers were having their prep day. Or as my sister, Jill, likes to call it "teacher lazy-ass day". (Sorry, Kim. Those are her words. Not mine.)(Kim's a teacher.)
You know that feeling when you wake up and you're all panicked because the sun is way too high in the sky and you know you're going to be late for work but then...you realize...it's Saturday?!?! That had to be what my kids felt this morning. Avery wasn't convinced at first, though. As I sat there in the parking lot I said to them, "I don't think there's school today."
Kids: "Ya right. Bye mom!"
Me: "No really. Look around. Where are all the kids? Where are the buses? Where are all the cars? (There were a few cars but only about half the normal amount.) I just called the office and no one answered."
Avery: "You have to be patient, mama."
Me: "Avery, I called twice."
Hayden: "Maybe we're late."
Me: "No, we're ten minutes early."
Avery: "Well, why don't we just go in and see if there are any kids in there and if there's not, we'll call you and you can come back and get us."
Me: "No, munchkin, I'm pretty sure there's no school today. That other school is out and we're always on the same schedule as they are."
Hayden: (Turning back-flips in the back seat.)
Avery: "Why don't we try calling my teacher?"
Me: "Avery, we're going home. There's no school today."
Avery: (Finally!!!) "Wooo-hooo!!!"
Me: "Sheesh! We could have slept in!"
Hayden: "I'm going back to sleep when we get home!" (which he didn't, of course)
It was a fun day. I wasn't even bugged by the fact that I couldn't watch my DVR'd stuff. No one was pretending to be sick so I didn't have those rules to enforce. It was just chill. We even watched HSM 2, which was brutal, but I survived.
These days are so rare with my babies and I just loved it!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
- I got to sleep in til 11:00.
- I got SEVENTEEN birthday wishes from all of my closest "friends" on Facebook.
- I talked to my kids (they're with their dad) and Avery sang Happy Birthday to me. And then she kazoo'd it to me. And then she kazoo'd It's a Small World to me. And then her dad yanked the kazoo out of her mouth.
- Hayden sang "Happy birthday to you. (UTAH UTES!) Happy birthday to you! (UTAH UTES!) Happy birthday dead mama, (UTAH UTES!) Happy birthday to you!!! (UTAH UTES!)" So freakin' funny!
- I had SEVEN texts waiting for me when I woke up.
- Tavis got me a way sweet card. (I'm going with Niki to Sego Lily next week to get a massage and pampered and then to lunch. That's what I asked him for.)
- I got THIRTEEN more texts throughout the day. Plus a "Happy Birthday Eve" text from Kim last night.
- I got THREE phone calls. My sister Kim, my dad, and Tav's mom. (OK, technically she's his step-mom but being a step-mom, myself, I don't like the word "step".)
- The Steelers WON!!!
- My mom and my brother and sister-in-law and their kids and Chance and Niki and Hunter all came over and we celebrated and watched the game. They were all going for Arizona...SUCKERS!!! (Although, have you all heard that story about Kurt Warner and his wife and how they met? So awesome! What a great guy!)
- That half-time show was cool, huh? My brothers are HUGE Bruce Springsteen fans. (I have a nephew named after him.)
- Tavis helped my get the house so clean! I should have company more often!
- The Office is on!!!
Seriously, it was such a GREAT birthday! Twenty-two days til the big one-zero for Hayden!