Anyone been to Wal-Mart lately? It's a freak show, people! I've always known this. I've known that on my worst day I can walk in there and see a dozen people that look worse than me on their best day. It's the place to see the latest trends in pj's, slippers, greasy hair-do's, stretch marks peeking through those not-quite-long-enough t-shirts. But this weekend, was just like an out of body experience.
There was a huge woman (I don't usually judge people for being fat, because I am a FAR CRY from skinny. Besides, it rarely has anything to do with whether or not they're a good person. In fact, I'm not judging this woman for being fat. But the fact that she was overweight just drew more attention to herself.) yelling at her kids. She was so freaking loud! It was never a "come here, honey" or "don't touch, sweetie". It was "GET OVER HERE!" And, "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!". I'm a pretty mellow, laid back person. I mostly just mind my own business. But this time I had to give her my best "crank my head around and glare" look. I'd be a huge liar if I told you I've never scolded my kids in the store. But I try to do it discreetly. I don't ever want people looking at me the way I was looking at this woman. Twice.
And have you ever noticed that you end up going in the same circles as other people? Like you run into them on every other aisle. So I got to see this charming gal every time I turned around.
So after I got done with the grocery part of my shopping I head over to the pharmacy to get some baby Tylenol. On my way I pass a woman who's talking to herself. Like full-on talking. Not just "ok, I can't forget the milk...". No, she's in a deep convo with herself. I couldn't believe my bad luck! First, a mean-talker in the grocery part and now a self-talker in the boys' clothing department. I headed over to the pharmacy fully expecting to find a leper colony! Actually, in that area it was just kinda depressing. Mostly old people shuffling along behind their carts.
The check-stand offered more entertainment, though. First, I got in line with the self-talker. (See what I mean about circles?) Then the cashier supervisor person is talking to my cashier about her (own) granddaughter. She got the part in an Aladdin play and needs a dress for a part...can't think of the name...starts with "p"...(other cashier calls out "pirate!" (Me, to myself: Really? Have you seen Aladdin?))...so I chime in, "peasant?"
Supervisor: "YES!!! Thank you! So I don't even know what a peasant would wear. What is a peasant?"
(Me, to myself: Really? And you work at Wal-Mart? Huh.)
Anyway, I explained to her that a peasant was poor and they wore kind of ruffly dresses (I guess), paid my freaking $123, and left.
Feeling much, much better about myself.