Friday, February 20, 2009

...when your post has been up for almost an hour before you realize you forgot to give it a title?

OK, my sister did this meme after she read her blog buddy's post. So I thought I'd do it, too.
Don't You Hate it When...

  • ...your baby has been napping for a good hour or two and you start to feel a little drowsy yourself so you close your eyes. And the second you do, your baby's eyes fly open?
  • ...you let your dog out to potty because she refuses to use the freaking doggy door...
  • ...and then you forget about her and you get all snuggled back in your blanket on the couch only to hear her yap at the door?
  • ...every time you read your sister's blog you laugh your butt off so you say in the comments that this one was the funniest one ever and then...she writes another hilarious post and you want to say the same thing but you feel stupid because you're sure she's going to think, "OK, Amber, I get it. You think I'm funny. Come up with a new comment."?
  • ...you're so short that you try to get into the back of a full-size Ford Bronco but you slip and fall face first into the back on the floor...
  • ...and your sister-in-law, instead of helping you, stands in the driveway and pees herself laughing? (OK, actually this one would have to go on my brother's ex-wife's list. As I would be the driveway-standing, pant-peeing, sister-in-law.)
  • ...when you're six months pregnant you go shopping with two of your sisters and one of them trips over the curb and lets out the most hilarious scream and it cracks you up so bad...
  • ...and there's a fountain right next to you...
  • ...and despite your very best scissor-stance, you proceed to pee yourself in front of everyone in the Tai Pan parking lot...
  • ...and when you finally get in control of yourself, which is EXTREMELY hard because your sister (the tripper) is now laughing so hard that SHE'S about to pee herself, which cracks you up even more, you go inside to finish emptying your bladder (all three drops that weren't in your undies) and the restroom is in the back of the store...
  • ...and your sister (tripper) is following you because she needs to go now, too, but she can't stop laughing and you're trying not to sound bitchy when you say, "dude, for real. You have to stop laughing and you have to stop following me because I'm seriously going to pee the rest of myself"...
  • ...and then these two sisters refuse to go back to the place you're staying so you can get change your pants...
  • ...so you're forced to walk around Tai Pan in your dirty pee pants, all while getting more and more chaffed?
  • ...you stand up and your niece says, "Aunt Amber, you've got a big butt."...
  • ...and your sister says, "LONDON!!!!! You can't say that to people!"...
  • ...and your niece (who was, like, 4 at the time) says, "what? I love her big butt. I...I love her butt!"
  • ...your husband single-handedly keep McDonald's in business and then gives you crap for spending $4 on a chai tea at Starbucks?
  • ...you sign up for the HCG diet and when they tell you that you have to binge for three days before you start the injections and the 500 calorie a day diet you practically giggle out loud because you're so excited to just eat and eat and eat? (Which is pretty much why you're in the predicament in the first place.)
  • ...you're watching The Biggest Loser and the gal goes up there to weigh in and you think to yourself, "how is it possible that this person has been at the ranch for so long and has lost so much weight and is still HUGE??? And then she gets on the scale and she weighs less than you? And now you're thinking, "she better be four feet tall."
  • ...you spend weeks mocking the Snuggie and now you want one...
  • ...and your husband says under no uncertain terms will anyone in this house EVER have a Snuggie because they're the most ridiculous things ever (which they are)?
  • ...you've always known your baby is especially brilliant but the fact that he's learned to throw his head back and bat his spoon and shake his head when he's done eating kind of makes you wish he wasn't so dang smart? (Is it me or is 9 mos a little young for him to be pulling such stunts?)
  • ...you want to record too many shows on your DVR and it tells you that you can't record that many shows as if it's saying to you, "dude, there's NO WAY anyone could watch that much TV in a day"?
  • ...no one but you knows how to operate the HOV lane?
  • ...people speak to their children for the "entertainment" of the grown-ups around them?

So ya, I could go on for days. Make sure you go read the other two posts I mentioned. I literally laughed my butt OFF when I read my sister's. (It grew right back.)

19 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Tell you what. I will let you try on my Snuggie tomorrow. And you may have a chance to win one on my blog. I will neither confirm nor deny.

DeNae said...

There she is again!! Kristina P is always the FIRST COMMENTER ON EVERY BLOG!! I'm afraid of Kristina P. I think she's an alien. Or maybe Rain Man? A Blogger Savant?

I would like you to know I laughed my London-esque butt off on your Tai Pan story, and I would like the rest of your readers to know I was the one sister not invited to that particular outing, so I see it as poetic justice that everyone else on the Tai Pan trip apparently bepiddled themselves, while I, the dissed, remained Depends-free. HA!

This was hilarious, little sis!

(And I think any dog who refuses to use the doggie door better grow a couple of opposable thumbs toot sweet.)

bernthis said...

found you through Martini mom. I love this blog and what I great idea for a post. I love when I laugh that hard. It's been a while I have to say. REally nice to meet you.

Casey said...

You just described the reason why I had to get a second DVR. Oh, and an external hard drive for my first DVR. We're TV addicts.

The kid's waking up the second you try to nap is huge around these parts. And then I have a horrible headache for the rest of the day since they always wait until I get into that first round of deep sleep to jolt me out of it.

I swear to God, my word verification is "panties". How the hell did that happen, do you think blogger knows you peed your pants? Wow. I took a screen shot of it too since nobody will believe me.

I did the HCG diet in college and they didn't make me fast. Weird.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I'd say you've held your own with this tag. :) Wit obviously runs in the family!

You have described why I don't even try to take a nap because I just can't recover from that wake-up rage.

veronica said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! It was so much fun to meet you today!
(...and yes, I tried on the snuggie. I told myself I wouldn't but I did.)

Amber said...

Hey other Amber. It was great to meet you today!

The other Amber.

tiburon said...

Soooo fun to meet you today!!!!

Adding you to my stalking list :)

Shauna said...

It was so great meeting you in person today! Hope to do lunch again to get to know you better sometime!
♥ Hugs :)

Vanessa said...

I totally HEART you! I wish we could have talked more today!!! We should totally hang...since we are in the same valley and all.

And I hate when my DVR gets full. What is up w/that?

Omgirl said...

It was fun to meet you today! And when it's not 11:30 and I'm not totally exhuasted I'll come back and read your blog for real. Peace out.

Kristina P. said...

It was great to meet you, Amber! You are a hoot!! I'm glad you could come.

Sher said...

I had a great time meeting you yesterday! You DO look blonder in your pic. Hmmm.
p.s. I didn't know you were Denae's sister!
I'm excited to get to know you better on your blog!!

Sher said...

p.s. I love you that much more because you have ABBA on your blog!
Mwuah!!

Sher said...

Wait. Is that a real moose or just a moose statue?!!

It was great to meet you yesterday!
You need to share where to get that snazzy sparkle eyeshadow/liner!

Melissa said...

You are totally hysterical! So many more reasons why I dig you! It was great to meet you yesterday and have been lurking around......
You've definitly gone on to my subscriptions list!

Martha H. said...

Loved meeting you on Saturday!

Kristina P. said...

I didn't realize DeNae was your sister! I saw her comment on Sher's blog. Too funny!

Keely said...

I just about peed myself laughing over the pee story. Thankfully, I'm in the comfort of my own home.