Tales of a Fourth Grad...er Staying Home Because He's "Sick"

On Wednesday Hayden called me at 3:00 and said he was sick and needed to come home early. He knows the rule of coming home from school early: you will be in your room, in your bed for the entire evening. No t.v. No toys. No video games. Nothing but resting because you're "sick". You can read or do homework. That's it. So I remind him of this and ask if he really wants to use this "get out of school free card" when school ends in THIRTY MINUTES and he'll be banished to his room when he gets home. He decided (because I made him) to stay at school for the duration of the half-hour. Another rule of coming home early is that you must have already thrown up at school. Feeling like you're going to throw up is not good enough.

So he got home that day and, as miracles would have it, he felt fine! YAY! Last night he complained of not feeling well and asked if I could get him some Pepto. So I loaded him up with Pepto and sent him to bed. At midnight he came downstairs (as I was still up blogging) telling me he was so sick. He really didn't look good. He kept making a run for the toilet. His bed is up high so I made him a bed on his floor so he wouldn't have to climb down and run to the bathroom. (He's never been good at making it there, anyway. His younger sister, however, will get up in the middle of the night three times and throw up and then clean up the little bit she got on the carpet and the bathroom floor and you'll only find out about all of this in the morning when she tells you.) So after one more run to the bathroom (unproductive) he went to bed.

This morning he got up and was acting pretty much normal. Until I asked him how he was feeling. (Stomach clutch, squinty eyes, whiny voice) "A little better."

Had I not been an eye witness to the events of last night I would have called him a big, fat faker and sent him off to school. Mostly because it would have meant more of a battle between Tavis and me than Hayden and me. Tavis would have wanted me to make him go to school and would have given me no end of crap about it the whole day. Me. Not Hayden. Anyway, Hayden stayed home. And it's been a real pain in my butt. All I want to do is watch my DVR. But he has to come upstairs and tell me about every commercial he sees or give me a FULL account of a Sponge Bob episode.

It's driving me nuts!!! He insists on talking to me. It's bad enough that Tavis has been home a lot lately. I'm really missing my old routine of getting the kids off to school, sitting on the couch, texting, eating, texting some more, a little blogging (although I usually do that at night), watching tv, more texting, and getting some space cleared out of my DVR.

So far today I've heard about:

A commercial where the guy is telling all the students that a good career choice for them would be a puppeteer.

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, ("oh wait, now that they have 'The Suite Life On Deck' I have to remember to say which one it is. Because you might get confused and not know if I'm talking about he original or the one where they're on a cruise ship.") where this Mia person is telling London something and she's really mean but London is so rich that she should be able to buy her way out of whatever it is that Mia is having her do...or something.

I honestly don't hear 80% of what he tells me. I know it's bad but I just can't do it. His stories last forever. OK, I know I do the same thing but my stories are really funny and interesting and awesome. His are all about, "this one time on Sponge Bob/Star Wars/ Suite Life/Family Guy (which just sends me right into a fury because that show is sooooo not for kids but his dad lets him watch it)."

Then he heard Harley (on the monitor) just start to stir so he goes up there and "entertains" him. Really? Because he does that and sometimes he goes back to sleep. So now he's up. Can't I just ignore my kids in peace???

Well, we made it through the day. I was able to learn a lot...

Did you know that when Yoda fights with anyone it's always Christmas colors? Did you know that on Legos Star Wars (the video game) Yoda walks so slow (demonstrates taking teeny, tiny steps)? Did you know that if I have to hear one more thing about Star Wars I'm going to rip every singe strand of hair out of my head??

He had a basketball game today. He plays for the Jr. Jazz. Does every state have a "Jr. ..." program? i.e. Jr. Knicks? Jr. Heat? Jr. Celtics? Anyway, it's a really good program for kids. He's not very good but he really likes it and improved 100% from his first game last week. They don't keep score (lame) and they don't call fouls (even lamer) but the kids really have a good time and learn the fundamentals of the game.

Hope you all have a good weekend! Oh, and for a really fun post go here. It's my sister and she's hilarious!

PS In all fairness to Hayden I can probably count on one hand the times I stayed/came home from school when I was actually sick. Except that time I had cancer during my junior year. I wasn't faking then.