This One's For Her...

This picture was taken two years ago on our birthday. Funny thing...my hair is dark now and hers is light!

My birthday's tomorrow! My birthday's tomorrow! My birthday's tomorrow! Yay me!!!

You know who else has a birthday tomorrow? My bestest bestie, Niki. What are the odds of that? You meet someone who you just KNOW was destined to be in your life forever and she ends up with your same birthday.

It was April, 2004. I was working as the receptionist in the x-ray department at the hospital in Tooele. I had been there for a couple weeks when one morning there was this cute little red VW Bug in the parking lot. When I went inside I saw this new face. She was (is) beautiful! Tall and thin. Taller than me, in fact! I learned her name was Niki and that she only worked in Tooele every other Tuesday because she had another job at Salt Lake Regional Hospital. She was an x-ray tech as well as a CT tech. I already knew I liked her. It was like we'd known each other our whole lives. I remember telling her, "I wish you worked here all the time. You're the coolest person I've met so far." You know what she said? "I know. I totally am." I knew then we were going to get along jusssssst fine.

The thing that impressed me about Niki the most was that she never, ever, not one time spoke negatively about her husband of four years (at the time). She always had nice things to say about him. Talked about how great he was. I get so sick of women constantly bad-mouthing their husbands. And it seems like that's what so many of them do! If they were such morons why did these women marry them? To me, the women who marry these "idiot husbands" look more idiotic. Anyway, Niki just had good things to say about hers. That was so refreshing.

We spent every other Tuesday "working our milkshake" while walking down the hall at the hospital. I showed her a picture of the guy I was dating (the 22 year older than me guy) and she said, "you're way too cute for him". She never minces words. She'll tell you exactly what she thinks. She was right about him. We spent our Tuesday evenings watching Sex and the City on TBS in the surgery waiting room (my kids were with their dad and she worked til 9:00).

It wasn't til a few months after we met that I discovered we had the same birthday. She's rude, though. She's 2 years younger than I am. When I was going to be turning 30 she didn't want me to do it alone so I waited til she turned 30 last year and we could be 30 together. No girl should have to face that without her best friend.

A year after we met she told me about a guy her husband went to high school with. He was cute. He owned an excavation company and he was digging the basement of the house they were building. Her husband thought this guy would be good for me. He'd been raised in same church as I was but wasn't really into it at the time. (Just like me) He'd been divorced the same amount of time as I had been. He had two step kids that he still was really close to. He just sounded really great! When I went out to see their "hole" he was supposed to be there but wasn't anymore. Chance (Niki's husband) called him and handed me the phone!!! I didn't want to talk to him but I did. I joked about him standing me up, told him this was a good lookin' hole, etc. I was still kinda hung up on another guy (not the old man) and wasn't really ready to date anyone. Then in July of that year I had finally had enough of the crap guys I'd been going out with. Niki and I had been out one night and I just said, "hey! Let's text Tavis!" (did you already figure out that it was Tavis?) So I did. And then I left. And I left my phone at Niki's. After I realized this I turned around and came back for it. Niki was so excited because Tavis had replied! We texted for a while and I went home. So excited. A month later I met him for our most perfect first date. And nine months after that, we got married.

I have Chance and Niki to thank for finding me the love of my life. How do you repay a person for that? Niki had her first baby in January of '06. The year I was supposed to turn 30. I had Harley the year she turned 30. Niki is the most amazing person ever. She's so much like Tavis. She's ambitious. She's successful. She's super smart. She's (brutally) honest. She's a hard worker. She's such an awesome example of a loving wife and mother. In my husband, I've found the male version of my best friend. In her best friend, she found the female version of her husband. He's mellow. Easy-going. Stay-at-home dad. (Although he actually works from home.)

Niki and I get along so well because our personalities are so different. She's high-maintenance (just ask her, she'll tell you). I'm laid back. She's ambitious. I'm lazy, lol.

So, even though it's my birthday tomorrow, it's also the day I get to celebrate the bestest friend a person could EVER ask for. There's no one I'd rather share my birthday with.

I love you, Niki. Thanks so much for feeding my texting fetish. (Those 100+ texts I burn through in a day? All Niki.) For listening to me vent about my life and for NEVER judging me. For introducing me to my "Prince Charming". For loving my baby so much! For getting me hooked on chai tea from Starbucks. For vowing to spend every birthday together for as long as we both shall live. For just being my best friend. Happy birthday to us!

My Three Most Favorite Little People

Birthday in T minus 2 days...

OK, since I have three kids I guess I should do a post for them. (Sheesh! It's supposed to be all about MEEEE!!!) So here are three little facts about each of my kids:

Hayden:

1. His left index finger is bent because he has sucked it since he was a newborn. He doesn't do it on purpose now but he wakes up most mornings with it in his mouth.
   
2. He can put both legs behind his head. He calls this trick "The Human Pretzel".


3. He knows everything there is to know about Star Wars. Which is WAAAAAY more than I EVER wanted to know.
   

Avery:

1. She is the most friendly, outgoing child I've ever known. She'll make a friend everywhere she goes. Even if it's in line at Wal-Mart and they'll only be friend for exactly 13 seconds.


2. She can't say her "R's".


3. She LOVES to eat deer meat with Tavis. Ew.
4. (OK, I know it's supposed to be just three but last night after I posted this I remembered something and since it's my blog, I figured I could do whatever I want!) When she was 5 she broke her arm (both bones) and two weeks after she got her cast off she broke her leg. It was brutal. For me.
   

Harley:

1. He has four teeth!


2. He says "mamamamama" whenever he sees me. (*swoon*)


3. His most favorite thing to play with is power cords.

33 Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know About ME

Birthday in T minus 3 days...

OK, here we go. Here are 33 random things about me. Are you on the edge of your seat? Are you??? I'm excited, too.

1. I'm the youngest in my family.
2. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers, the opposite number of siblings-in-law, 15 nephews, 5 nieces, 2 sons and 1 daughter. (This is just my side of the family.)
3. I know every single one of the above mentioned's birthdays and anniversaries. Including the year.
4. I'm a two-time cancer survivor. Hodgkin's. Once when I was 17 and again when I was 19. I finished chemotherapy a month before I turned 20 which means I've been cancer free for 13 years. GO ME!
5. I'm the only child in my family with blue eyes. (Thanks dad!)
6. I was born with both of my collar bones broken. I was a footling breech and it was before the days of automatically doing a c-section (and epidurals) so the doctor REACHED IN and, since my arms were above my head as well, pulled my arms down and pulled me out. Breaking my collar bones in the process. Can I just say...OWIE!!! Just the thought of someone reaching in without me being numb makes me hurt! (Thanks mom!)
7. Because of #6 I had to be wrapped up tight and held 24 hours a day for six solid weeks. (Sorry, mom!)
8. I've been married twice.
9. Of course I love my husband, but I also really, really like him.
10. I have two dogs that I don't like very much but I'd feel bad if they died.
11. I've seen Steel Magnolias over 200 times. I have the entire thing memorized and can recite every word.
12. When I was married to my first husband I moved 8 times in 6 years.
13. I love trivia games.
14. I'm a pretty good speller.
15. I know how to cook but I hate doing it.
16. I'd rather have a root canal than do laundry.
17. I've never been stung by a bee.
18. I broke my leg when I was 3. (My mom will say I was defective from the word "go".)
19. My favorite group is AB(backward B)A. We'd listen to them in the car when I was growing up.
20. I was born on a Sunday.
21. My favorite holiday is Halloween.
22. My bestest bestie has the same birthday as I do. (More on her in another post.)
23. I used to hate to snuggle and now it seems like I can't get close enough to my husband. I joke about wishing he had a zipper so I could unzip him and climb inside.
24. I wish I didn't love Wal-Mart but I do. I like to go and wander around. Same with Costco.
25. If I had to make a choice between air and Diet Pepsi, I'm pretty sure I'd go with Diet Pepsi.
26. I had sh*t ton of wax removed from my ears today. And it felt sooooo good!
27. I dated a guy for over a year that was (still is, I suppose) 22 years older than me. And another guy that graduated from high school the year I was born. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me. I have a good relationship with my dad so I know it wasn't anything like that.
28. When I was a junior in high school I was on the dance team and I got the "longest legs" award.
29. At 5' 9" I'm the tallest of the girls in my family. My oldest brother is taller than I am and my other brother is the same height as me.
30. Twenty-nine was the hardest age for me to turn.
31. I can't watch infomercials because every single one was made especially for me and I MUST have what ever it is they're selling. And HOW have I lived this long without this product?
32. I burn through about 100 texts a day.
33. I keep my finger nails short except for one pointer finger that I use to get boogs out of Harley's nose. And I LOVE to pick his nose.

Whew! That was brutal! Turns out I'm not quite as interesting as I thought I was. That sucks.

Wordless Wednesday (Even though it's Tuesday Night)

Birthday in T minus 4 days...

OK, I know it's supposed to be "wordless" but I'm mostly just using that as an excuse to post cute pictures.

This one is called "bottle independence!!!"

This is Avery in our backyard after we got dumped on.

This is Hayden after he shoveled the 18" of snow off the trampoline. Ya, we got a bumload of snow.

Three of my Most Favorite People: My Sisters

I'm in the middle. Kim is on my right and our cute mom is on my left. DeNae is in the front on the left and next to her is Jill.

I'm the youngest of 6 kids. (My mom actually had 7 kids (yes, we're Mormon) but the middle child, a boy, died when he was four days old.) I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I love my brothers and I love their wives. I really do consider my sisters-in-law to be my sisters, too. My sister-in-law, Alison, is one of my best friends. But this post is dedicated to my blood sisters.

DeNae:

She's the oldest in our family. (Should I have said "eldest"? I never know when that word is appropriate.) I was barely 9 when DeNae got married and moved out. I literally only have 2 memories of her before she got married. And of them is when she told me she'd gotten engaged the night before. I remember going in her room that was next to mine and Kim's and her showing me her ring.

I stood in her reception line in that mauve, satin dress with the puffy sleeves that EVERYONE who walked past me had to pat down because I was at the end of said line for THREE HOURS. I sat down once. When I went to the restroom. Apparently, her wedding cake was in the back of the family car and I smashed it on the way home. Oops. I really don't remember that.

She and I had once described ourselves as "bookends" to our family. We have a lot in common. We're both funny. What? We are! We're witty. We're smart. (No question she's smarter than I am, but still.) We're outspoken. We're out-going. We both love music. (I didn't make a career out of it like she did. She scarred me. lol) She taught me to play the piano. (Hence the scarring) Her son, David, was the first person in my life that was younger than me. I loved him instantly. And he loved me! I learned a lot about motherhood from her, through David. And sometimes, when I'm feeling especially "little sister-ish" I like to remind her that I'm closer in age to David than I am to her. Hee Hee.

I really wish I would have heeded her...um...we'll call it advice (although it was more like commands) to go to college. She always told me I was so smart. I should get an education "just in case". Just in case what? Just in case I ended up divorced and forced to go to work? Oh. That. Ya, that would have been helpful.



Jill:

We sisters are all four years apart from the one just older than us. Jill is the coolest of all the sisters. No question. She's always been the pretty one. She's so much fun. She's the secret keeper of our family. We all confide in Jill. She's spicy. She's the smallest of our family but she's definitely not one you'd want to tangle with. Do you remember that one girl that everyone wanted to be friends with? The one that completed any group activity? The one you always wanted to have around? That's Jill.

Jill and I are a lot alike, too. Mostly because I've always wanted to be just like Jill. We both have a thirst for fun. We crave it.

Jill taught me so much about boys. About dating. About eyebrow plucking and make-up application. If ever I needed a "make over" Jill was the one to give it to me. She took good care of me. DeNae was gone before I knew it and Kim and I were too close in age for her to want to nurture me. I was so sad the day she moved to St. George to go to college. I cried and cried. I remember one time when she came home from school I ran out of my room so fast I scraped my back on the door frame. I had a huge bruise but I couldn't help it. I was so excited to see her! I still get so excited to see Jill.



Kim:

Kim is four years younger than Jill (exactly, actually) and four years older than me. Most of my childhood memories include Kim. We shared a room and a bed for the first part of my life. I think it was when she turned 12 that we got our own beds. But not our own rooms. We became "pinkie sisters" because of those separate beds. We'd try to hold pinkies all night long. (She'd last about 14 seconds and then say she was bored of that and roll over and go to sleep.) She LOVED to torture me. Jill? Nurture. Kim? Torture. One night before we got our own beds she told me there was a man under our bed with a knife. He kept sticking it up through the mattress but would somehow pull in back down before I had a chance to see it. I kept telling her that I was going to go get dad but she insisted that the man would grab my legs and pull me under. It never occurred to me that her "scream" was not a scream at all. Rather, someone who was pretending to scream. As not to wake their parents.

One time she burned my leg with her curling iron. On purpose. And when I threatened to go tell dad (I was the little sister. I was required to tell on her.) she burned her own leg. On purpose.

In spite of all this, Kim and I are very, very close. Thank goodness for time!

Kim's the one in our family that gets along with everyone. She's so mellow and easy going. We have this in common. We're "come-with-guys". We'll do whatever, whenever. It's so relaxing to be with Kim. She's a great hostess. She makes you feel so welcome in her home. I love being at her house. Well, except for the fact that I HATE my house when I get back from a weekend at Kim's.

Kim got married at 17 and moved out (and to California!) when she was 18. I missed her so much. I feel like I got ripped off from my big-sister-time. I still needed her! Kim's the one who taught me about...um...that special time in a girl's life. Our mom was in the hospital having a hysterectomy, ironically enough.



Well, this post passed the point of "to make a long story short" about twelve paragraphs ago. Thanks for reading to the end. Even if the only ones left are DeNae, Jill and Kim. I sure do love you guys! Thanks for all you taught me. I can't imagine my life without any of you.

It's All About ME This Week...

...as opposed to all the other weeks when it's been all about...um...me.

Oh hi! How's it goin'? So I'm guessing you've got all the 4th grade tales memorized by now? OK, good. Moving on.

My birthday is coming this week and I'll be 33. So the posts this week will be all about the 3's. Three things about me. Three pictures that you're going to fall in love with on Wordless Wednesday. And so on and so forth.

So, without further ado...I give you "Just Three Things".

My friend, Amanda sent me this email so I'm going to do it here.

1. Three things I could eat the whole bag of: Doritos, if raspberry filled powdered donuts came in a bag I could eat all of them (as it is, they come 6 to a box and I could eat them all), Wint o Green Life Savers.

2. Three songs that make me happy no matter what: Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Mamma Mia, Summer Time (Kid Rock)

3. Three of my favorite TV show characters: Seinfeld, Elaine, GeorgeandKramer (I had to combine those last two in order to keep it to 3)

4. Three websites I get on every day: My blog, my sister's blog, everyone else's blog that I spend way too much time reading. (You, too can become addicted to my faves. They're over there on the left.)

5. Three perfumes I canʼt get enough of: I don't wear perfume, but I like coconut body spray from Bath and Body Works. I mostly just like to smell like summer.

6. Three things I could not live without: My DVR, my hugging pillow, see #1.

7. Three ways I pamper/treat myself: Massage, tanning, see #1.

8. Three colors I love to wear: Red, pink, black

9. Three movies I watch over and over: I go in spurts...right now it's Mamma Mia, The Women, and Pirates of the Caribbean has been on a lot lately.

10. Three TV shows I watch over and over: Seinfeld, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond.

So there you go. I'll be better at blogging this week. I'm sure you've all been waiting with bated breath. Well, go ahead and get some sleep now. I'm back.

Tales of a Fourth Grad...er Staying Home Because He's "Sick"

On Wednesday Hayden called me at 3:00 and said he was sick and needed to come home early. He knows the rule of coming home from school early: you will be in your room, in your bed for the entire evening. No t.v. No toys. No video games. Nothing but resting because you're "sick". You can read or do homework. That's it. So I remind him of this and ask if he really wants to use this "get out of school free card" when school ends in THIRTY MINUTES and he'll be banished to his room when he gets home. He decided (because I made him) to stay at school for the duration of the half-hour. Another rule of coming home early is that you must have already thrown up at school. Feeling like you're going to throw up is not good enough.

So he got home that day and, as miracles would have it, he felt fine! YAY! Last night he complained of not feeling well and asked if I could get him some Pepto. So I loaded him up with Pepto and sent him to bed. At midnight he came downstairs (as I was still up blogging) telling me he was so sick. He really didn't look good. He kept making a run for the toilet. His bed is up high so I made him a bed on his floor so he wouldn't have to climb down and run to the bathroom. (He's never been good at making it there, anyway. His younger sister, however, will get up in the middle of the night three times and throw up and then clean up the little bit she got on the carpet and the bathroom floor and you'll only find out about all of this in the morning when she tells you.) So after one more run to the bathroom (unproductive) he went to bed.

This morning he got up and was acting pretty much normal. Until I asked him how he was feeling. (Stomach clutch, squinty eyes, whiny voice) "A little better."

Had I not been an eye witness to the events of last night I would have called him a big, fat faker and sent him off to school. Mostly because it would have meant more of a battle between Tavis and me than Hayden and me. Tavis would have wanted me to make him go to school and would have given me no end of crap about it the whole day. Me. Not Hayden. Anyway, Hayden stayed home. And it's been a real pain in my butt. All I want to do is watch my DVR. But he has to come upstairs and tell me about every commercial he sees or give me a FULL account of a Sponge Bob episode.

It's driving me nuts!!! He insists on talking to me. It's bad enough that Tavis has been home a lot lately. I'm really missing my old routine of getting the kids off to school, sitting on the couch, texting, eating, texting some more, a little blogging (although I usually do that at night), watching tv, more texting, and getting some space cleared out of my DVR.

So far today I've heard about:

A commercial where the guy is telling all the students that a good career choice for them would be a puppeteer.

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, ("oh wait, now that they have 'The Suite Life On Deck' I have to remember to say which one it is. Because you might get confused and not know if I'm talking about he original or the one where they're on a cruise ship.") where this Mia person is telling London something and she's really mean but London is so rich that she should be able to buy her way out of whatever it is that Mia is having her do...or something.

I honestly don't hear 80% of what he tells me. I know it's bad but I just can't do it. His stories last forever. OK, I know I do the same thing but my stories are really funny and interesting and awesome. His are all about, "this one time on Sponge Bob/Star Wars/ Suite Life/Family Guy (which just sends me right into a fury because that show is sooooo not for kids but his dad lets him watch it)."

Then he heard Harley (on the monitor) just start to stir so he goes up there and "entertains" him. Really? Because he does that and sometimes he goes back to sleep. So now he's up. Can't I just ignore my kids in peace???

Well, we made it through the day. I was able to learn a lot...

Did you know that when Yoda fights with anyone it's always Christmas colors? Did you know that on Legos Star Wars (the video game) Yoda walks so slow (demonstrates taking teeny, tiny steps)? Did you know that if I have to hear one more thing about Star Wars I'm going to rip every singe strand of hair out of my head??

He had a basketball game today. He plays for the Jr. Jazz. Does every state have a "Jr. ..." program? i.e. Jr. Knicks? Jr. Heat? Jr. Celtics? Anyway, it's a really good program for kids. He's not very good but he really likes it and improved 100% from his first game last week. They don't keep score (lame) and they don't call fouls (even lamer) but the kids really have a good time and learn the fundamentals of the game.

Hope you all have a good weekend! Oh, and for a really fun post go here. It's my sister and she's hilarious!

PS In all fairness to Hayden I can probably count on one hand the times I stayed/came home from school when I was actually sick. Except that time I had cancer during my junior year. I wasn't faking then.

I Don't Even Know What to Call This Post Because I Want to Use a Swear Word That Starts With "A"

My sister Kim called (actually she texted) yesterday and said she was in town and asked if I wanted to go meet our mom for lunch. It was going to be a surprise for my mom because she didn't know Kim was in town. My mom works at the headquarters for the LDS (Mormon) church. It's the tallest building in Utah, boasting 26 floors. (So far, none of this has much to do with the story. That's how most of my stories go. Just ask my husband. I tell stories that last too long. I just like to paint a picture in your head. I want you to SEE what I'm telling you.)

So I drive up to Salt Lake with Harley. My mom said I had to come up to her floor so everyone could see how cute he's gotten. When I got there a gal she works with (not Cheryl) came out of her cubicle to see Harley. He was in his stroller and wearing his overalls which made him look older for some reason. Well this woman asks how old is he.

"He's 7 1/2 months", I tell her.

"NO. WAY. You're kidding me. I would have guessed 15-18 months at LEAST!!!"

Me: "Nope. Not even 8 months, yet."

Her: "HE'S HUGE!!!!!"

K, he's really not. He's tall, yes. But he's not chunky. He's got a full mop of really blond hair which might make him look older but TEN months older? I don't think so.

So then another gal comes by and is looking upon his adorableness and the first woman says, "how old do you think he is?"

She says, "I'd say about 8 months."

(Exactly)

First woman: "You think so? No way. He looks way older than that. He's so big!!!"

At this point I'm just feeling embarrassed for this woman because she's just making a jackass out of herself (that's the swear word I wanted to use in the title). Then we start talking about his name. My mom says, "this is our little Harley David."

Woman: "WHAT??? You didn't. How do you spell it?"

Me: "Exactly the way it should be spelled. Just like the motorcycle."

Her: "You didn't really do that to him, did you?"

Me: "Yes. I didn't want him to have to spell his name for people his whole life, so I spelled it the way it sounds." (My first two kids have a last name that is spelled NOTHING like how it sounds so I did them the same favor. I spelled their first names just how they should be spelled because they will have to spell their last name for people their whole lives. My wish for my daughter is that she marries a guy with the last name of "Smith" or something.)

So she proceeds to go on and on about how could I do that to him and he's the biggest baby ever. Why do people feel like they can say that kind of stuff? Clearly, this woman is lacking in social skills. (My mother has told me many a story.) But come on!! Is it because Harley doesn't understand what she's saying about him? Was she trying to be funny? Fortunately, I have a very thick skin and I KNOW Harley is absolutely adorable and I KNOW he's tall but he's not a giant and I KNOW he's got a name that's a little unusual (don't worry, my last name isn't "son") so I didn't get offended. His name has a meaning behind it. On Tav's and my first date we went for a ride on his Harley. It was the most perfect first date in the history of first dates. We rode over the Alpine Loop and stopped at Sundance at his cabin and ate dinner at the restaurant there. It was AWESOME! Since that day, (and still) my most favorite place to be in the whole world is behind Tavis on the Harley. Tav's dad's name is David. Tavis always knew he'd give his first born son the middle name of David. So what if his first name ended up being Harley? Is that OUR fault? Oh. I guess, technically, it is.

In this life we're given just a very few privileges. Naming our kids whatever we want to name this is one of them. Giving people a rack of crap about those names, is not.

Funny You Should Ask...

So, Jen at Sprite's Keeper did this for me. She had the same type of post and sent the offer to have her interview me (well, everyone, but I like to think that it was mostly for me.). In case you're wondering if I have a blog-crush on her...yes. Yes I do.

1. If you could invent an easy fix (just one) for anything in your life, what would it be and how would it change things?

I would invent a money tree. It would be the same species of tree that I have in my front yard, because it's HUGE, but it would also grow money. I'd put it in my back yard behind the play area to provide much needed shade in the summer (this is where the HUGE part comes in). It would drop all its leaves in the fall so my husband could take the winter off and we could travel. We'd also be able to afford to take a teacher with us (my sister, maybe?) to continue to educate the kids and every couple of weeks we'd fly their dad to wherever we are and fly Tav's kids to us. Once. I'm kidding!!! Twice.
I know that money certainly doesn't buy happiness. But having it sure does make your life easier!

2. You have been given a large sum of money, $500,000.00. Here's the catch: you can't keep it and you can't donate it. You must buy something with it, but for someone else in your family. Who would you buy for and what would you buy?

This is a no-brainer. (Of course I don't need to keep the money for myself because I have a money tree!) I'd pay off my mom and dad's house and all their debt. If there was anything left I'd get my mom a Jaguar and my dad the Ford truck of his choice. Then they could enjoy retirement (my mom could retire) and travel with us in the winter. Maybe they don't have that much debt (I'm guessing $250,000) so then I'd give each of my siblings $40,000 that they HAVE to put toward their mortgages. That eats up another $200,000. With the last $50,000 I'd take my whole family...siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, my kids, Romeo and me on a cruise. We'd go to Greece (because I'm paying for it and I get to choose, that's why). Wait. That's a lot of people. Maybe better just give $30,000 for their mortgage because a family cruise is more important than getting ahead in life.
Either that, or give the rest to my parents so they'd have enough for the rest of their lives which I'm hoping is a long time (but if it ends up being too long I'd be able to put them in a REALLY NICE rest home).

3. You have the opportunity to erase one embarrassing moment from your memory. What would you erase? (Why is optional.)

Wow. OK, I'm really lame at this question. I'm not sure which is more accurate about me but I either have too much pride or none at all because I really don't remember getting embarrassed. I guess if anything "embarrassing" has ever happened to me (like the time I was seven months pregnant with my first child and I got REALLY consti...plugged up and I came out the bathroom at my sister's house and told my mom we needed to go to the hospital because "it won't come out" and then my two brothers-in-law had to go get me and enema and suppositories because my husband at the time wasn't there) I just laughed it off or found a way to make everyone else laugh about it.

4. Imagine that you had your dream job. What are you doing? What hours are you working? How much do you think your salary SHOULD be?

I do have my dream job. I stay home. (That's what I'm supposed to say, right?) I really want to be a school teacher. Very unglamorous, I know. I just think it's a really good job for moms to have. Have the same hours and days off as your kids. Plus, you get to listen to the hilarious things kids say. I'd want to teach kindergarten, 1st or 2nd grade. After that, they stop being as cute (I can say that because I have a 4th grader). My hours would be the typical school day hours and nothing more. (My sister works a lot at home. I don't want to do that.) My salary would be all the hugs and success of the little ones. BAAAAA!!! Oh, that was good. It would be $1,000,000 a year. What? It says what my salary should be? Oh. Um. Probably $60,000/year.

5. What is the one luxury you can absolutely not live without and why not?

I was going to say toilet paper. But I think that's more of a necessity than a luxury. So I'm going with my hugging pillow. Wait. That's a necessity, too. Um...my DVR. Definitely my DVR. How else would I be able to record and watch every single "King of Queens" rerun? Or be able to put my kids to bed at 8:30 without missing a second of "Desperate Housewives"? Yes, for sure my DVR. Oh crap. I just thought of unlimited texting on my cell phone plan. But no...that's another necessity.

Thanks, Jen! This was fun! If anyone wants to do this too, please do! And let me know in the comments that you've done it so I can read yours!

Clarification

It may appear that I'm sad/depressed about my guilt list. Let me clear that up for you. I'm not. Yes, I do have plenty of things I feel guilty about but I don't wallow in them for very long. I only feel guilty about those things when I think of them, which isn't often. And, oddly enough, the guilt quickly leaves. These are only glimpses of guilt. There are only a few things on that list that I actually intend to do anything about. Fixing dinner, be a better house keeper, go to church, visit parents. The rest are things I'm probably never going change and I'm over it.

So now you can all sleep better. I know worrying about me has kept you up nights. I appreciate it, but, really...I'm just fine!

PS You'll notice the obscene amounts of time I spend texting didn't make the list. Maybe it should have? Oh great. Now I feel guilty for texti...wait...I'm over it. See how that works?

Just Say it, Already

Y'know? In this day and age of blogging and email, it seems like real communication is a lost art. People don't talk anymore. They blog. They email. They facebook. Does anyone use their voice? We get family updates via the email. We see pictures of our nieces and nephews on their blog. We get to see our neighbor breast feeding her baby on her profile picture. (Seriously, why would you want a picture of you nursing your baby on your facebook?)

People are even doing their Christmas cards on their blogs these days. And while this may be more environmentally friendly, where's the personal touch? It all just kind of seems a little cold.

From now on, if you want to update me on your life. If you want to tell me about little Billy or Suzie going off to pre-school. If you have anything of great importance to say to me...PLEASE...

...pick up your dang phone, and text me!

Spin Cycle: We've Got Nothing to be Guilty Of.

OK, this is the first time I've done this. I'm trying to fit in with the cool east coast bloggers. (It's a long shot. I know.) So Jen, from Sprite's Keeper, (s0 cute!!!) does this on her blog and I wanna get in on the action. This week's spin is guilt.

Wow. Where to begin. There are so many things in my life that I feel guilty about (doing or not doing). Here's my list:

• I feel guilty about not fixing dinner for my family and husband every night. (Don't get me wrong. We eat every night. It's just usually Ramen or tomato soup for the kids and something equally as unexciting for Romeo.)


• I feel guilty for not keeping a cleaner house and for not keeping up with the laundry.


• I feel guilty for having that feeling come over me when I see my kids walk up the sidewalk after getting home from school. They've been gone all day. I should be so excited to see them. But it mostly just makes me feel guilty for...


• ...having spent the entire day in my pj's and having not taken a shower yet and it's 4:00 in the afternoon.


• I feel guilty when I don't offer Harley any solid food the entire day. He gets a bottle of formula with cereal mixed in it but it's mostly a thick bottle, rather than a solid meal. (This doesn't happen but maybe once a week.)


• And since we're on the subject of solid foods...I feel guilty for feeding Harley said solids through one of those bottle feeder things instead of with a spoon.


• I feel guilty for not calling/visiting my grandma more often. She's 95 and isn't likely to be around much longer.


• I feel guilty for not visiting my parents more often.


• I feel guilty for not calling my friend more...or ever.


• I feel guilty about eating unhealthily because it's set a bad example for my kids.


• I feel guilty for not going to church more...or ever.


• I feel guilty when I take a nap when my house isn't clean...which is every time I take a nap.


• I feel guilty when I read some one's blog and I don't leave a comment. I feel like if you're there, you should let them know about it. (Blogger's note: This one really only applies to me! Please don't feel guilty if you come here and don't comment. I really DO LOVE comments but I'll never know if you were here and didn't comment. I didn't mean to add more guilt to your list by implying that you should comment or I'll die. It's true, though.)


• I feel guilty when I knowingly don't remind my 4th grader to do his homework because I HATE doing homework...


• I feel guilty for HATING to do homework with my kids.


• I feel guilty for having my TV on All. Day. Long.
• I feel guilty for making all the other moms out there feel bad because my baby is the cutest baby that ever babied. (I'm kidding!!! I'm supposed to think he's the cutest, right?)

Well there you have it. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them. Jen said that guilt weighs 2 pounds per issue so that means I should lose 34 ell bees by the time I get over these things! YAY ME!!!

Now you're all tagged. Get spinning!