Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Don't Even Know What to Call This Post Because I Want to Use a Swear Word That Starts With "A"

My sister Kim called (actually she texted) yesterday and said she was in town and asked if I wanted to go meet our mom for lunch. It was going to be a surprise for my mom because she didn't know Kim was in town. My mom works at the headquarters for the LDS (Mormon) church. It's the tallest building in Utah, boasting 26 floors. (So far, none of this has much to do with the story. That's how most of my stories go. Just ask my husband. I tell stories that last too long. I just like to paint a picture in your head. I want you to SEE what I'm telling you.)

So I drive up to Salt Lake with Harley. My mom said I had to come up to her floor so everyone could see how cute he's gotten. When I got there a gal she works with (not Cheryl) came out of her cubicle to see Harley. He was in his stroller and wearing his overalls which made him look older for some reason. Well this woman asks how old is he.

"He's 7 1/2 months", I tell her.

"NO. WAY. You're kidding me. I would have guessed 15-18 months at LEAST!!!"

Me: "Nope. Not even 8 months, yet."

Her: "HE'S HUGE!!!!!"

K, he's really not. He's tall, yes. But he's not chunky. He's got a full mop of really blond hair which might make him look older but TEN months older? I don't think so.

So then another gal comes by and is looking upon his adorableness and the first woman says, "how old do you think he is?"

She says, "I'd say about 8 months."


First woman: "You think so? No way. He looks way older than that. He's so big!!!"

At this point I'm just feeling embarrassed for this woman because she's just making a jackass out of herself (that's the swear word I wanted to use in the title). Then we start talking about his name. My mom says, "this is our little Harley David."

Woman: "WHAT??? You didn't. How do you spell it?"

Me: "Exactly the way it should be spelled. Just like the motorcycle."

Her: "You didn't really do that to him, did you?"

Me: "Yes. I didn't want him to have to spell his name for people his whole life, so I spelled it the way it sounds." (My first two kids have a last name that is spelled NOTHING like how it sounds so I did them the same favor. I spelled their first names just how they should be spelled because they will have to spell their last name for people their whole lives. My wish for my daughter is that she marries a guy with the last name of "Smith" or something.)

So she proceeds to go on and on about how could I do that to him and he's the biggest baby ever. Why do people feel like they can say that kind of stuff? Clearly, this woman is lacking in social skills. (My mother has told me many a story.) But come on!! Is it because Harley doesn't understand what she's saying about him? Was she trying to be funny? Fortunately, I have a very thick skin and I KNOW Harley is absolutely adorable and I KNOW he's tall but he's not a giant and I KNOW he's got a name that's a little unusual (don't worry, my last name isn't "son") so I didn't get offended. His name has a meaning behind it. On Tav's and my first date we went for a ride on his Harley. It was the most perfect first date in the history of first dates. We rode over the Alpine Loop and stopped at Sundance at his cabin and ate dinner at the restaurant there. It was AWESOME! Since that day, (and still) my most favorite place to be in the whole world is behind Tavis on the Harley. Tav's dad's name is David. Tavis always knew he'd give his first born son the middle name of David. So what if his first name ended up being Harley? Is that OUR fault? Oh. I guess, technically, it is.

In this life we're given just a very few privileges. Naming our kids whatever we want to name this is one of them. Giving people a rack of crap about those names, is not.


Vodka Mom said...

rack of crap?? That's damn good. I am SO using that.

(You should have kicked that lady's ass.)

Keely said...

You should see me trying to explain 'Xander' *eyeroll* Even family members who have never met him - i.e., people who have only seen his name IN PRINT - spell it wrong.

And he's been called 'enormous', too. Whatevs!

DeNae said...

I'm thinking Vodka Mom and I would get along just fine - until one of us mouthed off to the other one.

But I don't see how kicking Sheryl's small domesticated farm animal would have helped matters. First, you'd have to drive to her farm...

However, I think I can help. I've copyrighted the following rejoinder, that this week I've already advised another young mother who was victimized by stupid people to use (in her case, the Clever Lady in line at the grocery store looked at her kids and said, as an ice-breaker I guess, "Looks like you need Supernanny!")

Remember, I own this rejoinder. Every time you use it you have to start with, "My big sister has a message for you" and pay me a royalty (M&M's are fine).

Here it is:


"What the hell is wrong with you, lady??"

DeNae said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristina P. said...

People have no filter. And for the record, I love chunky babies.

mrsbear said...

People suck sometimes, at least you kept your cool. I think no matter what you name your kid, someone somewhere is going to have something asinine to say about it. My youngest is Maxwell, to this day my mom still refers to him as Maxwell House like the coffee. So not funny anymore. I love the story behind your son's name, it's sweet and sounds just right for you guys.

Michael, Dlaina & Ethan Lindsay said...

Your so funny, and that lady is a complete idiot who would do that come on! I love his name and he is the cutest kid ever and not chunky at all I thought he was actually small, but what do I know! I had fun seeing you today! We need to get together again soon!

Laurel said...

You've met Greyson right? He really was huge!(30 pounds at 6 months) I got sick to death of people telling me to put him on some damn diet. The lady needs a good face slap. I love his name, especially now that I know the story. And just in case you didn't know he is the cutest and smartest baby EVER! (next to mine). I'm just glad you didn't name him something like Trojan broke or something.
I agree with spelling. My maiden name is Rerucha. You gotta make it easy on the kid. The most I did was spelling Grey with an E Y not A Y. As for Xander that is totally what I wanted to name Grey but with a Z and I got so many eyerolls that I just gave up.
Next time you go to SLC. Let me come so I can kick some ass. It might make me feel better.

Amber said...

DeNae--It wasn't Cheryl. I LIKE Chery. She's great. No, no. This was the woman that so affectionately refers to her OWN offspring as "The Puke".

She's charming. I know she wasn't meaning to be malicious. She just really has..as Kristnia P. says "no filter".

Anonymous said...

Thta was kind of rude of her...and but maybe she just couldn't stop. If we read her blog right now, it will probably say, "And then, it was as if demons took over my body. I couldn't stop talking about how big he was and how unique his name was...why do I always do that?"

Oh, and was your mom surprised about lunch?

Amber said...

Yes she was! I had called her and told her I was coming. She asked "why" and I said "just because". So when my sister got there (before me) the gals at the front desk called my mom and told her her daughter was there so she thought it was me! She was very surprised and excited to see Kim!

Casey said...

Wow, what a jackass. People just need to shut the hell up. I hate unsolicited advice and comments. Try having a daughter named Elliot. People can't grasp that she's a girl, no matter how many times I tell them.

LORI said...


wendy said...

Those kind of experiences stink eh. I always wish I could come up with something "snappy" when people do that to me. You should have said, "well, he may look big to you the same way all those wrinkles in your face make you look older to me. " Just hug Harley (cool name by the way) and whisper "evil woman, bad, bad woman"

Sprite's Keeper said...

Why do people do that? Honestly! I happen to use Sprite's nickname frequently, and whenever it slips out, whomever I'm talking to will give me the look and ask why I named her after a soft drink. I've shortened my answer down from "well, she acts like a sprite, which is a woodland fairy, blah blah blah" down to "Think Tinker Bell." How does the saying go again? Opinions are like asses. Everyone has one. Some should really spew their hot air privately though.