Saturday, December 5, 2009

I Miss You, Dad

I miss my dad. I miss him so, so much. I miss his voice. I miss his warm hands. I miss his hairy arms. And his bald head. I miss the way he would blink really fast like he was batting his eyes. I miss his blue eyes. They were just like mine. The only two in our family that got 'em. I miss the dimple in his chin. I miss the way he'd say, "hi hun" every time I talked to him. And before we'd finish a phone conversation he'd say, "love you, too" even though I hadn't said it yet. I missed being able to cheer for the Yankees with him. And I missed watching the BYU/Utah game with him. I missed his too-long, lecture-the-family-via-blessing-on-the-food at Thanksgiving. I miss his texts asking me to bring his "motorcycle" out to see him. I even miss him sneaking Mountain Dew to Hayden.

I don't understand why he was taken from me so suddenly. I still need a dad. I still need his help to get registered for college. Because that was one thing he was emphatic about. He wanted me to become a teacher. Probably more than I want it.

I hate that he's gone. I hate it so bad. I hate that I will spend the rest of my life without him. I know he's still there. I know he's aware of me. I know he's so happy where he is and that there's nowhere he'd rather be. I can't imagine how glorious heaven is but my own selfish self would rather have him here.

No comments. I just needed to cleanse my soul a bit.