Sunday, September 13, 2009

Oh, How I'll Miss Him

DeNae did a post about our dad on her blog, too. Please go read it as well.

Of course we all know this day will come. There's just never enough time to prepare. No amount of warning will make it feel better. I'd love to tell you what a great man my father was. And I will. But not today. I'm so, so, so sad. I miss him so badly already. I wasn't done with him. I still needed my dad.

I will forever be grateful that I was able to give him what he wanted most from me. The words of my bishop have been running through my mind since last night.

"without question that this is the time for you to be re-baptized. I'm not sure why it's now, but I received revelation that the Lord needs you back now. That NOW is the time for you. I know that in time it will be revealed to us just how important the timing of this is, but for now I just know that it's not by accident that you've chosen now to come back."

That's what my dad wanted from me the most. When he showed me the piece of paper with my name and a blank line next to it and told me he wanted that line filled in before he died, I made up my mind to make it so.

I love you , My Daddy. I miss you so much it hurts.


My dad and Harley on Father's Day 2009


My dad and Harley when Harley was 2 days old.
My dad's last Christmas with Avery and my nephew, Tanner

My dad was the only one from my family that could come to Harley's first birthday party.
Family was the most important thing to my dad. He loved us so much and no father was more loved than our dad.

21 comments:

Vanessa said...

I'm glad that you were able make his wish come true before he died.

You have been in my thoughts and just want you to know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to (or text).

val of the south said...

Oh Amber, I am so sorry! I lost my Dad a few years ago to Alzheimers, and you're right - there's never enough time to prepare for how sucky it makes you feel.

Big Hugs to you and your family. I'll be thinking of ya.

Emma said...

I am so sad for you, to loose someone you love is never easy.

Stay strong!

Kristina P. said...

I didn't realize he was so young!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and DeNae. Love you guys!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I'm sorry, Amber. I have a feeling he'll still come to all your kids' birthday parties.

SO said...

Love the pictures. They are priceless. I took a lot of pictures of my kids with my dad. I somehow knew that they wouldn't have much time with him. I'm just glad that they did get some time with him.

I'm so sorry that you have had to say goodbye before you were ready. I hurt so much with you and for you right now. If there is anything...anything at all, that you need please text or call. Okay?

Sarah said...

What an incredibly amazing you have done for yourself, your father and The Lord.

Casey said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He looks like such a happy, fun guy. I'll be thinking of you guys.

Moody said...

Oh, I'm so sad for you! I lost my mom and 7 years later I still miss her SO much! I honor her memory a lot and that helps. Hugs to you!

Michael, Dlaina & Ethan Lindsay said...

Cute pics, I don't think I've ever seen your dad before! You really did choose the most perfect time to get re-bapitzed! I've never lost anyone close to my not even a grandparent so I have no idea what you are going through. But I'm here if ya need me! Love you!

M-Cat said...

It's comforting to know, that they are really never GONE and they are always just nearby when we need them.

Hugs girl!

wendy said...

Oh Amber, I am so sad for the lose of your dad. I think though of how wonderful it is that you had a good relationship with him ---that you loved him so much---that you will have such great memories of him. THAT is what you need to hang onto. And what JOY he is having at knowing his daughter was rebaptised. Amber, that is just wonderful. It is amazing how some things happen for all the right reasons and at the right times. We just don't always know "at the time".

wendy said...

and p.s. I LOVE YOU

Motherboard said...

Love love love you!

tiburon said...

Oh Amber I am so sorry for your loss. I am just now catching up and my heart is hurting for you.

Please let me know if I can do anything...

Mrsbear said...

I don't think you would have ever been ready. I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Sher said...

It's obvious that your Dad was an amazing person, and obvious that you are too!
You know I love you, and I'm here for you anytime you need me.

Motherboard said...

I've been thinking about you day. I hope you are OK. You know how to reach me.

I love you!

Lara said...

I had read your post over on MMB, and was so touched by it.

But after reading the restatement of what your Bishop said, I am hit with how much the Lord loves each of us.

I'm so sorry about your dad. I don't know what I would do if I lost mine. Your father seems like he was an amazing one to have.

((hugs))

val of the south said...

I just wanted to tell ya I was thinking about you -

Love ya!

Kim Almond said...

Just loved the pictures. Damn. I miss his smile. I miss his furry arms. I miss him calling me Kibble-ee. Today I just really miss him.