Where Are Your Manners?

First of all, the big news: The cookies from the temple thing are from Little Dutch Boy Bakeries in Draper. My mom works at the Church Office Building so she has all the really important information. Like, for example, they served a total of 750,000 cookies and 670,000 bottles of water. They brought the water in on 17 semi-truck loads. At first they ordered 72,000 cookies and found that they only lasted 2 days. Probably because freakin' hogs like me ate SIX!!!

OK, on with the post. I worked last night so guess what? Another fun-filled waitressing story!
This family comes in. A mom with her six kids (Utah, remember?), the youngest being Harley's age (ten months) and the oldest I'd say about 15. First thing, as they're walking to their table one of the younger boys (probably 8-ish) takes the peg out of the middle of one of the wagon wheels hanging on the wall and sticks it in his pocket. So I take their orders. Mom: special. Daughter: ribs. Younger daughter: grilled cheese sand (with the help of her older sister, who was really cute and sweet to her siblings. Really.). Kid who ripped off the peg: In the most annoying, obnoxious, dufuss voice he proceeds to tell his mom he'll order for himself. He then orders chicken nuggets with fries. I tell him he can also have corn on the cob or applesauce. Silence. More silence.
"Buddy? Do you want applesauce or corn?"
FINALLY: corn. (In his same ridiculous voice)
OK, moving on. Next kid: special. Next kid: sandwich.
So I move on to the next table and while I'm talking to them this woman is yelling for me. "Amber?! Amber?!" Dude, seriously? I'm helping someone else! So the manager takes care of her.
After a few minutes I go up to the mom and say kind of quietly, "Um, I don't want there to be weirdness but my manager said that your little guy in the corner there, took one of the pegs out of the wagon wheel and put it in his pocket." And then I walked away. I didn't want to be there for the interrogation. But I hear the kid denying it. When I came back, she said she had frisked the kid and it was not on his person. He said that he took it out of one wheel and stuck it in the other wheel. I don't have any idea if there was one missing out of the other one or not. Even if I did, I'm not about to call him out on it. So I say, "ok, sounds good."
Well the special was an all you can eat situation. So the kid orders a "refill" on his and when I bring them to him he's still got his plate in front of him with his applesauce and corn on the cob sitting on it; both about half eaten. I say, "are you done with this plate or are you still working on those?" Silence. Then he, and I'm not making this up, proceeds to "draw" a circle shape with his two hands. Starting at the bottom of the circle and going up and meeting at the top with his fingers.
Me: Standing there with the plate of ribs.
Then he "draws" a square in the air with his hands.
Me: Standing there with the plate of ribs. Then I look at the mom with a "wtf?" kind of look on my face.
Mom: Finally comes out of her coma, says, "Say something."
Kid: "Yes."
Really? "YES WHAT???? You're done with your plate or you're still working on it?"
Kid: "Done with it."
See, I have kids. They don't scare me. I don't play into their games. Nor was I about to let his mom think I thought he was cute or clever. So I go to take his first plate away and he grabs the corn off of it.
Well, after a while the younger kids start to get restless and the older two kids have to take them out (not a minute too soon). So the mom asks for her check so they can leave. YOU. BET.
She gave me a $12 tip! But I tell you what, with the mess I had to clean up when they left, I earned every single cent of it!
Seriously, if my kids behaved like that, they would never see the inside of a restaurant again. Ever.
So then at like, 8:40 (we close at 9) these two women come in. Very pretty. Nicely dressed. Friendly. Craving corn on the cob. They order the all you can eat special, too. After they've had their food for a few minutes, they ask what time we close. And I kept checking to see if they wanted a "refill" on their ribs, yet. "No, no." They tell me. The cooks are wanting to shut the kitchen down. It's pretty much closing time. Then at 9:05 they order their refill. Are you kidding me? The grill was already shut down so the cooks had to turn it back up. Then they proceeded to stay til freaking 9:30!!! I had joked with them when they asked what time we close that if they stayed too long , I'd just have them vacuum.
So when they continue to not leave I started to vacuum. Maybe it's just me but when the freakin' vacuum comes out that's usually my cue to RUN ALONG! Nope, not these women.
Finally they left. And they left their damn $2 tip, too. Isn't that just rude? To stay on and on? Clearly, we're closed. We're wanting to go home. I just think it's really bad manners.
All in all, it was a pretty good night, though. I made $55! And I still LOVE waiting tables!